37M - Something
Well, this is difficult for me. I’ve always been introverted, but as I’ve grown older, I feel I’ve become more comfortable with solidarity. Not that I want to be alone, but I know I’m not a normal person.
I’ve never been good about keeping contact, my family is the same. I hate reaching out, because I fear that I am a burden upon others. I know this ties to anxiety/PTSD at times, and recently (last year or so…) I was diagnosed with ADHD. That’s been a real life change in itself. I’ve learned that unbeknownst to myself, I had been masking. Masking who I was, masking the pain I felt (both emotionally and physically). I know I still mask, but after this long, it’s a trait that is hard to turn off. And those few that are close to me are confident I’m on the spectrum (Undiagnosed, but everyone is pretty sure…).
Getting the help, and starting medications have helped a lot. Addressing some of my traumatic experiences has been difficult, but it’s better than what I had been doing (which was stuffing it way down deep).
In all honesty, I want to have friends and nerd out on shared interests, I want to have a social life, and be apart of the group.
I like to tinker. If something intrigues me, I want to learn more about it. I have a hobbies graveyard, along with tools and skillsets. I take pride in the work I do, and the things I create. Some of my favorite hobbies are CAD, Additive Manufacturing (3D Printing) and remotely operated technology. My mind is very technical, and I often cannot “read the room” (sarcasm gets me every time).
I don’t really know what/why I am writing this. I want something, but not sure what that is or what it looks like. It could be a kindred spirit that shares enthusiasm of things, maybe someone who would like to learn some of the skills I’ve acquired? Or someone who can listen and relate to what they may be going through? I really don’t know.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I’ve seen a lot of amazing people on here, and it’s taken a long time to build up the confidence to even post.