u/ContributionPrize772

Seems like we are all going through break ups with AP's....is something in the air. Ended it last night after weeks of contention ( see last post) and I think I'm in shock. This connection lasted years and I don't think it has registered that its actually over. No clear villain other than that it was no longer sustainable but god...its hit like a ton of bricks. I will go through waves of panic and type out a message to crying to hating him. Also a mind fuck to go through a breakup while married. I don't know if Ill be okay after this or how long it will take but its almost like my body and mind is refusing to believe its here so I don't have to endure it. Its taken everything in me to not back peddle as I was the only to finally rip the band aid off but whatever I could or would say wont undo the complications that already existed. Does it ever get better?? How do you tolerate this while keeping a brave face for your spouse?

Over the last few weeks its been strained. More fighting than usual and constantly having talks about where we stand/ where are we progressing. Culminated in a discussion around what does "protection" look like if caught by partners. I was caught off guard when my AP expressed that they would confess and didn't want to hide if caught. This hurt as I had already expressed id do everything I could to down play the relationship to ensure their protection. Makes me rethink the whole dynamic. Maybe this is more a vent post but this feels shitty....we both made the decision and I cant change their viewpoint but seems like an unspoken rule that we should take care of one another this far in. Now just find this out months down the road id be sold out.

Title really says it all. My partner is acting so strange, constantly on the phone and so distant. I am positive he is entertaining someone else but I have no definitive proof. There are times when we are together, he has his phone constantly titlted in a way that I cant see so I have yet to actually try and catch a name. Anytime I confront him on this, he is defensive and downright mean so I have backed off on asking more questions. But its driving me crazy. My gut feeling is that its a woman I shouldn't know about but with such little proof, where do I go from here? He has lied about small things in the past like omitting who is exactly at the hangouts but as far I know, he hasn't cheated on me. I don't know any passwords and we don't share phone lines so I cant check records. Any advice?