u/CookieDremurr

I’ve been a few weeks clean at this point but it’s only because I’ve been so crazy busy and distracted with life.

Things are still busy but I have an added exhaustion and scars that are fading making me want to go back to how it was before. The only reason I can give myself for not doing it is that it’s logically wrong to do so.

I have a fairly new girlfriend that has a very small understanding of this all but that’s not deterring me either. I have some kind of fucked up appreciation with my own scars I feel empty without them.
I can’t help but feel I gain some respect or recognition from people that happen to see them.

How the fuck do I stay clean if I don’t want to be and have no reason to be?