u/Cookingpanda436

Lately, the thought of divorce and separation is on my mind A LOT.

My husband and I have had our fair share of struggles. We’ve been together 10 years and over that time, he’s had multiple addictions, tax debts of over $80k, speeding fines, going to court and getting in trouble with the law, lost his job over drugs or silly behaviour a few times, he’s crashed cars and just been really stupid. Mind you, a lot of that was over five years ago and since having my son nearly two years ago, he’s been sober besides a few beers and is actually an amazing dad.

Over the last 6 months, his drinking has gotten worse. He’s gotten roughly $1k worth of driving fines and dabbling in recreational drug use again and just not making the best choices.

We are not getting along. I don’t have much patience for anything anymore I’m so focused on my son and I’m working and doing everything around the house. We agreed he would clean the dog poo and take the bins out but keeps forgetting. He told me if I’m home “all day” why don’t I just take the bin out, not save it for him. I do take the bin out. I also work 4 days a week in a super busy job. we have no family support as we moved interstate. I do everything around the house, I am looking after my son outside my working days. My husband does work 12hour days, 6 days a week so I get that he would be exhausted. But so am I and I feel like he has this mindset that as a woman, the house is my domain.

I don’t know if I like the person he is anymore. I don’t think his choices or even morals align with mine anymore. his lack of accountability is astounding and he is 35. He used to be a nice person but these days, I don’t recognise him anymore. I don’t know if it’s the resentment or the exhaustion but I think about what it would be like to be separated often and part of me is sad by that but another part of me would be so happy not to deal with all of his shit and look after him the way I do. i think my marriage is over but I don’t know how to navigate that.