u/Corporal-noodles

I had a friend who was pretty mentally and financially exhausting for me. We will call her Valerie. We didn’t have a lot in common, but we became friends when she found me online and realized we live in the same town. Valerie struggles with a lot of mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, autism, ADHD, OCD, bipolar, and borderline. I am not trying to bash on her when I say this, but I compare her mentality to that of a 12-13 year old girl. She lives in an apartment by herself and has been in and out of jobs. She has a very rocky relationship with her family and for a while, she had a bf who was paying all of her bills, but the relationship was horrible because of him so she broke up with him and now she’s stuck with all of the financial responsibilities. One day she texted me saying she has no food in her house and that she’s ripping her hair out and it’s making her depressed. I said I can support her this one time because I’m limited on money too. She immediately got excited and sent me a long McDonald’s order. I said I can only provide maybe half of that, and she said that’s okay. The next day she texted me again saying how she’s craving McDonald’s again and how nice it would be if she had some McDonald’s right now. I kinda just said yeah, and that was it. Then the day after that she texted me saying she was feeling depressed because nobody wants to help her pay her bills. I suggested some resources, but she kinda went back to the “nobody wants to help me.” I was blocked the next week. That is only one example.

She’s blocked me a couple times without explanation and she says it’s because she feels left out or depressed. I told her I want a break from our friendship for the both of us and she agreed. I blocked every account I know she has. It’s been months and I’ll frequently search her name because she’ll occasionally create new accounts just to see if I’m ready. I’m pretty good and finding them before she contacts me with them. I’ve slipped up a couple times though. I told her nicely I’ll be ready when I am and block the account. I’m asking what to do if I miss one and she contacts me again. She sometimes threatens people with s**cide if she doesn’t get what she wants from them. I know she won’t go through with it though, even though s**cide is serious and I want to take it seriously. Do I call the non emergency line and explain what’s happening and that it is a threat with no plan?

Please don’t tell me “your friend needs help” or “your friend is childish” because that’s all I hear when I ask for help about her. I’m just thinking of what could happen and what are the steps I can take.

I have never been in a relationship and I was interested in this girl for a while. I bought her a new coffee after she spilled hers in class and I brought her flowers at her music recital. She cried happy tears both times. Recently I’ve been having second thoughts because I still have an unhealthy attachment to the last person I pursued even though he and I haven’t spoken in a long time. It just wouldn’t be fair to this girl if we went on a date knowing I’m still thinking about someone else.

We never had a talking stage or anything intimate. We just get along very well and I gave her a couple gifts. Like I said I struggle with some social cues and overthink social and emotional situations but she looked kinda sad any time she glanced over at me last week.

I have been led on by every person I’ve ever romantically pursued. I’d hate to become the one thing that hurt me most.

I just don’t know what entirely counts as leading someone on and how far that goes.