u/Correct-Strength-885

I’ve been scrolling posts related to this incident on Twitter and Reddit since yesterday. 

America has a long way to go. I’m a guy who grew up in a third world Muslim country and I can see many parallels in public reaction to incidents of rape in global south and U.S. which is quite disheartening. This isn’t the first time something like this happened. It’s a consistent pattern spanning over decades.

It’s insane to see the number of people slut-shaming jane doe. She has been called all sorts derogatory names, and ppl are trying to find who she is. Some of them have identified a red head woman as Jane Doe and circulating her images on twitter, making fun of her looks along other degrading comments. Even if she’s the Jane Doe, how does her looks have anything to do with it? How does her bf becomes a victim? 

Plenty of guys still struggle with the concept of consent despite the fact that it has been pushed by media and educational institutions for decades atp. 

I don’t get this obsession that men have with a girl’s father. Whenever they have to deride a woman, particularly over her sexual conduct, they go like “imagine if it was your daughter” “a father’s worst nightmare” and so on. They never imagine having a rapist son. 

All these people asking why women aren’t held accountable, I’ve to ask exactly what are men held accountable for? 

They can commit murder or rape and other guys still end up either defending or shifting the blame onto women. 

All in all, much of the public reaction is quite hostile and this is only going to prevent more women from speaking out. This isn’t progress. We are regressing. 

I’ve been scrolling past tweets and posts on Reddit related to Cornell incident. 

Though admittedly many ppl are supporting the woman, there are also plenty openly using quite gut churning, extremely derogatory language for her. Countless ppl labelled her as a whore and it seems like many of them hate that she consensually engaged in threesome more than the possibility of her being raped by guys who were invited by the ones she agreed to have sex with. 

I don’t think public reaction to viral incidents of rape has changed much, at least online. With every major sex scandal, there’s a whole brigade ready to defend the alleged perpetrators, and blame female victims. It has been the case for decades with little change. 

I find it ironic that a lot of these guys believe that women need to be held accountable, yet whenever they have to deride a woman over her sexual behaviour, they say “daddy must be proud” “imagine being her dad” “a dad’s worst nightmare.” It’s rather rare to hear these men ever criticising harmful male behaviour by attributing it to absence of a father or poor parenting (Even when they do, more than half of the time, they blame the mother for not being able to lock down the father). So they don’t really treat a woman as an adult capable of making independent choices. Women are quite infantilised by very men who want them to take responsibility for their actions

Some have even went on to argue that a few men who had sex with her were raped cuz they were drunk. 

To make matters worse, some redhead woman named Lucy has been identified as John Doe though it’s not confirmed if she’s actually the woman who got assaulted. There are several issues with this. Primary one being why these guys are even trying to dox her and reveal her public identity when law allows her to stay anonymous? Secondly, her pics are being shared all over the X with horrible captions deriding her appearance. 

I would’ve slightly less of an issue if these men wanted to discuss any loopholes in her statements in a rather polite manner. Rather what I witnessed is classical slut shaming. 

Yesterday, I posted about how men are getting radicalised despite an apparent decline in popularity of red-pill content in another rs sub. I gave example of misogynistic memes being made about ASU girls and how it’s been a one sided trend where men are shaming girls for going to ASU while no one bats an eye at male behaviour at the same school.

The replies were mostly very poor.

“men and women are different”

“They arrested Andrew Tate but young men still don’t want to wife chad sloppy 17th”

And so on.

Nowhere in my post I advocated that men need to marry extremely promiscuous women. The whole point was that women are being selectively targeted whereas male behaviour is totally overlooked.

I was reading somewhere that the majority of gynaecologists in southern Italy refuse to carry out abortion.

Besides, previously I read about South being more socially conservative when it comes to gender roles and cohabitation (living together prior to marriage).

If I didn’t got wrong information, most first marriages in southern Italy are held in churches and young people move from their parents home to live with their spouses after legal marriage.

I was reading about peach and coconut cultures. In peach cultures, people are more friendly and warm with strangers but that doesn’t translates to deep trust and true friendship. In contrast, people from coconut cultures tend to be cold and reserved initially, taking it longer to break initial ice, but they have a soft core meaning it’s easier to befriend them once you pass initial threshold.

Latin American cultures are usually described as peachy.

I’ve personally experienced this warmth with few people I met from Uruguay.

How do you develop deeper relationship with people from this part of the world? what are the signs that someone is seeing you more than just an acquaintance?

Hello. Pardon me I’m writing it in English since I can’t speak Spanish. 

I met a few people from Uruguay while I was on trip to Spain a month ago. I found these people quite warm, friendly and chatty. 

However, after reading many posts here, and few articles on the internet, I’m finding out that Uruguayans are quite reserved and cold. A few posts and comments describe them as cold or reserved as Europeans, particularly Nordic ones. Apparently it’s very hard to become friends with Uruguayans. 

This wasn’t my impression at all. I’m honestly bewildered to hear that. 

I’ll be frank, I didn’t liked most northern, eastern and western Europeans I came across while living in western Europe. Not just that Eastern Europeans happen to be rude, but also quite a large number of them are racists towards brown ppl despite the fact that they are also immigrants in the same country. 

I really wish to come but I don’t wanna feel like I’m in Romania, Russia, Finland or Britain. 

The title. I have seen this with every major American skit channel on YouTube.  

I feel like much of this “satire” is not actually meant as a joke. It’s often conservative misogynistic rhetoric disguised as satire/sarcasm/humour. 

I’ll give example of one. There’s this YouTube channel named agcandytv. His skits, particularly those around a character of a therapist (named Dr Blain in skits) being brutally “honest” with his patients have millions of views and hundreds of thousands of likes on YouTube. 

In these skits, I noticed that he quite often would depict a female character who is promiscuous, and almost always, she has daddy issues. So his patient would say my dad called me failure of a daughter that’s why I slept with so many dudes, and he’ll reply with “you are proving him right.” A male patient says his gf informed him of having daddy issues and asked what to do. He  tells him that it’s an excuse for being a wh*re and that he shall run. Another one had a female patient telling him he shouldn’t slut shame women cuz it’s embarrassing and he replies with “what’s more embarrassing is being a sl*t.“

It’s not a coincidence that he does it so many times, is it? Why is it that he never ever had a male character who is promiscuous or suffering from mommy daddy issues? Such issues are shown to only affect women in his skits.

Content is one thing. The reaction or how it’s perceived is another. Even if these creators don’t have such leanings, their content is received as gospel by misogynistic men. If they meant it as humour, it should have been taken as a joke. But one glance at the comments show that it’s not the case. For instance, this guy I talked about gets overwhelmingly positive comments, and many people praised the “honesty” of the brutal therapist.

There’s hardly any backlash against it. It’s as if no one could see it

Yesterday I saw a post (supposed to be a meme) in a sub here showing a couple in a mirror selfie with caption reading “my girl got accepted into ASU.” ASU is Arizona State University

The comment section was horribly misogynistic. It has been long that I have seen a thread on Reddit so overwhelmingly dominated by comments slut shaming women. There was hardly any pushback, and even the pushback was quite downvoted.

I searched ASU on insta, and comments on posts from ASU women or insta pages were pretty much filled with similar vitriol. (Ppl often argue that men are more confident expressing misogynistic views on anonymous platforms like Reddit, but a lot of these men had public profiles).

So the pattern is a massive slut shaming reaction from men to anything related to ASU and women.

They say it’s a party school and if a man’s girl goes to ASU, he‘s gonna get cheated upon. I don’t get this cuz even if it’s a massive party school, it doesn’t mean everyone is involved in partying. It doesn’t mean every man coming to ASU is single and doesn’t have a gf who‘s studying somewhere else. I don’t see any man questioning the behaviour of men at this school, but they are very hateful of women who go there.

(I’ll also like to add that regardless of school, if a couple chooses different colleges, naturally the odds of one or both cheating on each other increase).

Previously, I’ve also seen the rumours and accusations spread by frat guys using burner accounts and the kinda obscene language they use for women.

If this is really how men behave in a first world developed country, what can one expect from men in developing countries?

This post is a bit long. If you can’t engage in any meaningful manner, you can stop reading just here. 

I’m a male (26). I moved out of Pak in 2024, and been living in uk ever since. Other than these two countries, I have been to Morocco as well.

The purpose of this post is very simple and straightforward. I find many people, particularly men, denying that Pakistan is a patriarchal country. I find it utterly ludicrous. 

Pakistan is a patriarchal country. It’s also patrilineal (inheritance and wealth are traced through male line) and patrilocal (women moving to live with in-laws). Many people want to deny this, but the preference for sons is still quite strong. These are raw facts. 

WE DO HAVE A CLASS OF SPIRITUAL RESIDENTS OF NY, LA, LONDON and so on. But they constitute a small minority which lives in enclaves. This westernised class also suffer from similar issues (Noor Muqadam) though to a lesser extent. Most of the Pakistanis aren’t urbanites. Even in urban cities, not everyone has the same worldview. A person living in Liyari has a very different opinion on gender roles than some liberal in DHA or Bahria Town. Not all major urban cities are alike as Peshawar is way more conservative than Lahore. 

The predominant view in Pakistan is that men must be in charge, and they shall keep women in check, often by any means necessary. For instance, if a woman isn’t observing hijab, many will criticise her male relatives for their lack of “protective jealousy.” Hijab isn’t a choice for many women in Pak. 

Now does that mean women always exhibit good behaviour or never do anything wrong in a patriarchal society? No. Absolutely not! Does this mean patriarchy is always supportive of men? No. Does this mean that all women are united against male dominance? No. Does this mean every woman faces similar restrictions? No. Women can have varying levels of autonomy based on class and other factors. 

This being said, it’s also true that consequences for women are much more severe if they break norms and rules. If a man has a gf, he might face disapproval or violence, but the families will react much more strongly if they find out about their girl having a bf. We rarely or never hear about a man being murdered by his own family for having (allegedly or proven) physical relationship outside wedlock, but if we turn other way around, well, yk it. 

I’m from a middle class family and grew up in a small city between Lahore and Islamabad on GT road. My district has one of the highest literacy rates countrywide. Yet, our streets and baazars are strongly populated by men. Many of my male friends could spend whole night outside with little to no objection from their families. 

Speaking of online, Why is it that almost every Pakistani online community has misogyny problem? It doesn’t matter what platform I’m on, from YouTube to Reddit, Pakistani online spaces are very much dominated by men and male pov. 

Here in uk, the social reality is different. You see strong presence of women in streets and public places, no matter if it’s a small ass town or London. However, if you were to visit Pakistani dominated neighbourhoods, you see more men than women hanging out in the streets. 

In Morocco, which is a Muslim dominated North African country, the culture was more similar to Pakistan. The cafes were very male dominated.  But it seemed to contain both western and eastern Islamic influence, and the society is bit relaxed. I witnessed plenty of women riding scooters and clad in western apparel

After experiencing life in these 3 different societies, you tend to understand differences more clearly. If I use UK as baseline, then both Pakistan and Morocco are very different, especially the former. You start to see that the role and participation of women in society is very much influenced by their geography and culture

lately on both insta and twitter I have came across a few profiles of various young Iranian women who don’t observe hijab, hail ZZA, but they are very supportive of Islamic republic, in particular its military, IRGC and broader “resistance.” 

One of them had her pic burning Israeli flag with her cig taking rounds over the internet. I saw this girl’s stories and she even attends pro-regime rallies while draped in regime’s flag. Another of such girls I saw on twitter even went on to write that if she had to choose between Khameini and Trump/epstein class, she’ll choose the former. 

Almost all of these women claim that they were beaten by batons during 2022 protests. 

I’m honestly bewildered to say the least. The same regime to this day hasn’t recognised the fact that Mahsa Amini was murdered by morality police. If you speak up for her, you can’t glorify her murderers. 

I can’t help but assume that these women are somehow related to someone in the Regime. 

Many people, both Iranian and non-Iranians have been justifying violent crackdown on January protests. 

These people are quick to argue that any police force in the world would have responded to violent attacks similarly. They would tell you that American police would have carried out a similar crackdown on “rioters.”

Well, let’s do the comparison and ask questions.

How many countries in the world have morality police? If the American police was violently arresting women for not being dressed properly in the streets, what would be the public’s reaction? How many countries put political dissidents behind bars or arrest people merely for commenting a dot under the tweet of its supreme leader? Hack how many countries even have a supreme leader? How many countries punish people for anti-government activism? In America, people actually do protest against state violence. Aren’t people protesting against ICE? In 2020, after white cops killed a black man, it caused massive nationwide protests and even riots. All over the killing of one man! people chanted or held placards with ACAB (all cops are bastards) written over them. If America was ruled by an authoritarian regime akin to Iran, the public reaction would have been far worse. 

The Iranian security apparatus has employed violence for nearly 5 decades. They have brutally suppressed completely peaceful protests. Neda Agha-Soltan wasn’t rioting when she was shot in a pro-democracy protest in 2009. The regime officials made so many stories, from accusing CIA to calling the whole footage of her death fake. Mahsa Amini wasn’t rioting when she was abducted and tortured.  The murderers of these women were never punished. So many female protesters have lost eyesight in one eye after being shot from pellet guns in 2022 protests.

Did the Iranian authorities and so-called security forces expect to be greeted with flowers after carrying out these atrocities? 

Speaking of violence, was 1979 revolution peaceful? We have well documented, digital evidence of protestors burning public property and causing riots. They also clashed with security forces and many took arms against the state. If it wasn’t wrong then, why it became wrong today? 

Many pro-regime activists and people would gladly glorify Palestinians resorting to violence, and argue that it’s a justified reaction to decades of oppression. But they do a complete 180 with Iranians. Funny how it works. 

The vast majority of protesters were unarmed. The clips released by regime of armed protestors only show a handful of individuals, and most of them carried shotguns or pistols, no match for regime thugs equipped with automatic rifles and machine guns. How come thousands of unarmed protesters got killed in clashes between these small numbers of armed protesters and thousands of regime thugs? Clearly, indiscriminate fire was opened.

I have seen many combat footages. The clips of these so-called security forces shooting don’t come across as clashes between them and armed protesters. They are standing out in open, just firing shots. If they were engaged in a firefight, they would be taking cover. Videos also show them chasing and beating a woman who fell on ground with batons. Another infamous clip is of these thugs driving an heavy armoured vehicle into a large crowd. 

I can go on. But the point is that, you can’t oppress your people for decades, strangle public liberties and rule with an iron fist without eventually facing violent retaliation or uprising. It has happened before in Iranian history, and will continue to happen unless there occurs a democratic change. 

I have made a few posts and argued with a few people over these issues.

This narrative is not only perpetuated by non-Iranians, but also by some iranians.

I was scrolling through Quora and came across this Iranian user who defended executions arguing that those getting executed murdered police or security officers. He also blamed foreign backed rioters for mass killings.

I went through his post history and was left bewildered. He’s a Bahai who became an atheist, and also recognised the fact that the regime is authoritarian/brutal. Yet he’s still trying to justify executions and blaming state violence on protesters.

There’s another Iranian woman I saw on Twitter who apparently westernised in her appearance was defending executions using the same accusations against the victims as this muppet mentioned above.

Even if protesters were violent, are basijis angels? These so-called security forces have been beating and murdering Iranians for nearly 5 decades with zero impunity. What happens when economy is down, unemployment is high and state is increasingly authoritarian? Don’t go pickachu when people finally turn to violence

I’m not a Lebanese, but lurk here from time to time. I wanted to inquire did Hezbollah lost its public appeal? The impression I get from this sub is that they have fallen in public’s eyes.

I also wanted to know how Lebanese people view events in Iran and would they wish for regime change in Iran?