u/CosmicBunny7

My husband (M31) and I (F30) have been married for 2 years. In July it will be our 10th anniversary as a couple.

I think we are happy but we fight a lot. About almost anything, mostly money and household stuff. He has a stable job and since the beginning he decided he was going to be the one in charge of home finances so he pays the bills, he pays for groceries, he pays for everything because that’s what he told me he wanted to do. I don’t because I didn’t have a job when we got married and I don’t have a job now (I lost my last job in April and I’m actively looking for another one but it’s hard).

You could say we have a traditional marriage, even though it’s not intentional since I never wanted to be a tradwife but bc of my job status it is what it is. I stay at home. I clean the house everyday, I feed our 3 pets, I cook all the meals, the house is clean when he gets home and I only ask him to take out the trash twice a week (which he almost never does so I also do that). I try to help him as much as I can: I don’t spend money, I buy smart, I don’t go out, I don’t buy stuff for me. Anyway…

What happened is that a moment ago, when he arrived home, he entered and walked all over my clean floor. I told him to take off his boots since I had just mopped the floor and I wanted to keep it clean. I may have raised my voice a little and that’s on me, I just got mad since keeping a house clean is HARD. But he got mad with the tone I used so he raised his voice and then all of a sudden he was yelling (I’m used to him yelling, don’t like it tho). He threw his boots on the floor aggressively, telling me how tired he was and how whatever the floor was clean or not was not important. I got mad, things were said. We circled to what all of our fights circle to: money. He started going off about how he is always so stressed about the money and how I don't appreciate him working so hard, how I only stay home. Man, that made me mad mad because I’ve been looking for a good paying job and it so freaking HARDDDDD to find one. And I don’t know, I.. I was so fed up I just threw a candle and a coaster on the floor and they shattered.

At some point I told him we made each other unhappy, hinting at “we should separate”.

My husband yelled at me and broke down crying on the dining table saying he had just bought those coasters two weeks ago and how I just don’t appreciate that. I didn’t even do it on purpose or to make him feel bad. I didn’t even think about what I was doing. He said “You want to divorce me? I have no one else!”referring to the fact that if I divorce him he’ll be alone. Maybe he said it to make me feel bad for making him feel bad? I don’t know but I didn’t buy into his pity party. He has mentioned that in the past when we have fought and it had an effect on me before but now it didn’t. I’ll be alone too, I don’t have family but my mom and my cousin.

I’m sure we are both wrong but am I a bitch? I feel like everything is my fault.

Edited to add ages.