So apparently my step child is moving in with us??
How do I have a polite discussion with my husband without sounds like an A hole for not letting his child live with him?
For context, we have been together 10 years. Lived together for 8 years. We have his child every weekend and all school holidays for that 8 years, I work flexible hours so most school holidays im the primary carer and the one paying and taking them for days out/lunches out etc. I pay the food and electricity bills so all this would increase with them moving in. I also split all vacation costs spending thousands on long haul holidays for them and hundreds every birthday/christmas on them.
The other week he turned round to me and and said that when the child leaves school (around 3/4 years time) he would be moving in with us permanently. No discussion was had!
Im not happy with this, I might sound selfish but I like my home, its my sanctuary, I also work from home and dont want a teenager moping about, stinking up the place, always being there while im in the house, trying to work while they're gaming/shouting/playing music etc. I have my peace through the week cause they aren't here and then I know they are here on a weekend when I have to run about after them making their meals etc.
Its simple things like being able to run down the stairs in underwear to grab clean clothes out the dryer or not constantly having someone being there (maybe tmi but being able to have s\*x with my husband any where any time w/o thinking oh they might hear or walk in)
But then ill sound like an absabsolute A hole if im like 'i dont want your own child to live with you' like how do I even phrase this w/o it turning into an all out war?!