u/CourseIcy7934

Hi everyone,

I’m a Senior Associate in Big 4 tax and I’m trying to understand what actually makes a senior look manager-ready.

Beyond doing good technical work, what behaviors make managers/directors/partners think: “this person is ready for the next step”?

I’m thinking about things like ownership, client communication, risk escalation, managing upwards, coaching juniors, prioritization, and staying calm under pressure.

For managers and above: what do you look for in a senior before supporting a promotion?

For seniors who made the jump: what did you consciously change before becoming manager?

Any practical examples would be really helpful.

I realized something with my therapist recently and wanted to share in case it resonates.

I always thought I was just busy, reactive, “the reliable one” who handles everything fast. But we figured out that I actually seek urgency (the follow-ups, the messages, the small fires ) because it lets me avoid sitting down with the deep, slow tasks that really matter. The ones that require being alone, focused, with no external validation coming back at me.

It’s connected to doomscrolling too. The moment things go quiet, I reach for stimulation. Because silence makes me feel like I’m not needed, not confirmed” by anything outside me.

The painful part: the rush makes me sloppy (small mistakes), but it protects my ego ; I can always tell myself “I did what I could under pressure.” Whereas if I sit calmly and it’s still hard, the verdict feels like it’s about me.

For those who’ve recognized this pattern in yourselves — what actually helped you sit with the discomfort and do the deep work? Not productivity hacks, more the inner side of it.

I’ve recently started to understand something my therapist told me a while ago: positive feedback seems to fall into a bottomless pit inside me.

The strange part is that I don’t actually lack evidence that I’m competent or appreciated. At work, I receive specific and concrete feedback. People tell me that I’m reliable, proactive, autonomous, good with clients, supportive with junior colleagues, and that I make their lives easier. I’ve been trusted with important responsibilities. These are not empty compliments.

But none of it seems to stay.

I can receive a very positive review and feel good for a few minutes, then one mistake, one unclear sentence, one correction or one slightly cold interaction completely wipes everything out. My brain immediately decides that the positive feedback was exaggerated, that people were only being nice, and that the mistake reveals the “real” me.

Recently, I explained something badly in a work email. The core reasoning was mostly correct, but one sentence was unclear and caused confusion. I clarified it, the issue was resolved, and the person involved even reassured me that my reasoning made sense. Objectively, it was a minor professional misunderstanding.

Emotionally, I felt ashamed and stupid. I became convinced that everyone involved would now think I was incompetent. One poorly worded sentence felt more believable than years of tangible evidence that I am capable.

I think this may be connected to my childhood. I often did not feel truly listened to or emotionally understood. My needs did not always seem to have much room, and I learned to adapt myself to other people, to be helpful, easy, successful and useful. I think part of me learned that being accepted depended on performing well and not disappointing anyone.

Now, as an adult, praise does not create safety. It only gives temporary relief. The next mistake brings me straight back to the belief that I am not enough and that people will eventually realise it.

I am starting to see that the problem is not that I need more achievements or reassurance. I already have plenty. The problem is that my nervous system does not seem to accept positive information as real, while it accepts criticism, rejection or disappointment immediately.

Has anyone here experienced something similar? Did emotional neglect make it difficult for you to internalise praise or develop a stable sense of self-worth? What helped you stop treating every mistake as proof that you were fundamentally inadequate?

Hi all,

I completed a postgraduate tax program abroad and I’m considering applying for exemptions for the VAT and International Taxation modules. I’m curious whether anyone has gone through the process and how strict the CSL is when assessing exemption requests.

Any feedback or experience would be greatly appreciated.

Hi everyone,

I work in Big 4 tax compliance and I’ve been struggling with something that I think is starting to affect the quality of my work. I often feel like everything is urgent, even when it probably isn’t. When I review tax returns or prepare deliverables, I sometimes catch myself rushing through the work because I feel pressure to move quickly, reply fast, follow up, and keep everything moving. The problem is that this “urgency mode” makes me less thorough, and I know the quality of my work is better when I slow down and review things calmly.

I’m not talking about being lazy or avoiding deadlines. I’m more talking about that constant internal pressure where every email, Teams message or follow-up feels like it needs an immediate reaction. It makes it harder to think deeply, review properly, and take a step back before sending something out. Then when the work comes back with a lot of review comments, I tend to take it personally and feel like I’m not good enough, even though I know intellectually that comments and review points are normal in Big 4.

For those of you who have been through this, especially in tax, audit or compliance roles, how did you learn to slow down while still being efficient? How do you distinguish what is genuinely urgent from what can wait? Do you use any practical review routine or checklist before sending deliverables? And how did you stop taking review comments as a personal failure and start treating them more constructively?

I’d really appreciate practical advice from seniors, managers or anyone who has dealt with this and managed to become calmer and more consistent under pressure.