u/Crazy-Evidence-4226

Keeping this a little vague because she happens to be a redditor. Basically I need a some free therapist advice.

The nature of my relationship with my mom since I was probably 11 is that she’s an emotional wreck and I’m responsible for being the stable one. As a kid, I was told I”’ the stable one, the on-time one, the responsible one. In high school, my parents had a nasty divorce and they never recovered from it. My mom solidified her role as the perpetual victim (always broke, always “alone”, always being bullied by everyone else) and decided I am her financial and emotional caretaker.

This shows up as every holiday, she’ll show up at me and my husband’s house, stating she has “nowhere to go”, she’ll stay for an undisclosed amount of time and because of our culture, it’s assumed we will take care of her 100% financially. She also will show up at my house any time something doesn’t go well with a potential boyfriend and again, I’m emotional and financial caretaker.

This happened again last week. Her boyfriend kicked her out and she ended up at my doorstep, broken and in tears. I said she could stay a few days until she figured out her next move. She took that as “stay as long as you like” and began making plans with people weeks out in my town (I should add- she doesn’t live in my state). Finally one night at dinner after she told my in-laws she’d love to go to dinner with them again next week, I lost it. I broke down in tears, frustrated, saying I’m tired of saving her and she needs to go home. She hasn’t spoken to me since. She stayed an extra day or two in our guest room, but didn’t speak to me or answer texts.

My question is: how do I set boundaries with my emotionally immature parent? I want to have kids soon and want her to be a part of their lives, but can’t imagine having her around when she’s so damn draining.

Hi all! We wanted to dispersed camp just outside of Theodore Roosevelt Park, but the Boondocking in Medora is closed until July 7th because of the library opening. Any recommendations for other dispersed camping either past the park or I. That area?