u/CrazyDisastrous948

Well, Oklahoma is banning the use of medicaid for transition services. I can't use it for top surgery or testosterone anymore. They also made it where any facility accepting medicaid can't do transition stuff, even if the patient pays privately or with different insurance. I am officially fucked out of transition until I am able to leave Oklahoma. I was already struggling because of some insurance issues, but this made it 10x worse. I'm stuck here for at least another five years. My chest is my enemy. My body is slowly turning more feminine. I'm kind of done with life. I don't have any idea how to be okay anymore. Is there even advice for this?

I got a new job. I haven't worked in four years. Wednesday I worked 9 hours, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I worked 7 hours. I've been having trouble sleeping and only getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep before each shift. Today, I was supposed to work 7.5 hours. I only made it about 5.5 hours. I kept making mistakes, dropping things, I busted a cup and got sweetened milk everywhere, was having to ask for help constantly, misunderstanding menu things I already covered, and I rammed my finger into a 90° angle of a fridge door which cut my cuticle open and caused me to bleed all over my hand while taking an order and handling money with my other hand. It's super loud and I am meant to do a lot of muti tasking. On top of all that personal stuff is happening that makes me very sad and made today (mother's day) in particular very hard.

I excused myself to the bathroom for five minutes to cry, then came back. My boss noticed I was teary eyed and struggling. She sent me on a second break, which isn't something she is known for. She prefers when people ask not to break at all and tries to time breaks for luls in customers, but there were a ton of customers. I cried so much on my second break that they told me to go ahead and clock out and go home for the day.

Should I tell her I am autistic and that was a meltdown? I don't wanna fuck up my work stuff. I need this job. Would telling her be helpful or hurtful after I already had a meltdown in front of everyone?

I don't want reduced hours. I want 40 hours a week. I'm a good worker. I am a perfectionist. Everything I do is good and detailed always. I need the money too.

What should I do? Tell my boss? Don't tell my boss?