u/Creative-Sundae5523

Hey everyone,

I guess my first post wasn’t in the correct subreddit, so I’m hoping this is the right one. I have exhausted every single option i have and i’m hoping this is going to help in a way.

So my story is: I (F) met with a guy during a business event 2.5 years back, the discussion between us flowed easily and wrapped up the evening by exchanging numbers. After which we started texting, now for context we both live in different countries but it would’ve been manageable.

We kept on texting as he had to go back to his home country for around 2 months daily, talking life, work and sometimes family related. He sent me photos of places he was traveling to for work, and photos of his meals, and i used to send photos back occasionally when there was something interesting. That’s when i knew i’m doomed! He slowly started pulling back and disappearing, and I was very confused, my anxiety started to kick in and i hated that, so tried to playfully ask him what is going on hoping that i would understand what’s going on. He said i’m a lovely lady, and he enjoys talking to me, but the reason he’s disengaging is due to personal events happened in the past which caused lots of insecurities for him, and before he deals with these insecurities he won’t be able to engage in any discussion or even proceed forward. Back then i respected his honesty and i told him i appreciate this and gave him his space. Now here i would have expected that he will stop engaging in any discussion, and i didn’t text first because he needed the space, just for him to continue sending pictures and talking about his week as if we never had that discussion, and his first text back was updating me about his surgery. My mistake here is that i kept on getting engaged in the discussions and i didn’t close the door.

Fast forward few month of no contact, he breaks the contact, few more months of no contact and i break it as i was in a very low moment.

a year of no contact goes by, and out of the blue he sends me a follow request and i hold back from accepting it but end up accepting it afterwards. He sees my story and knew that i’m in a particular place, so he messages me about it and offers helps as he has family there, i thank him and say it’s not needed, then he kept on checking on me, until i made it back to my home. Now we move on to low effort interactions where he started liking some of my stories. A while later we end up meeting in a different setup, we have a very casual chat and he asks me about how life is going and such questions and we remain engaged in a group discussion while he keeps on pointing out to things i mentioned before referring to me “X is good with this, X has been to that place…”, the evening ends and we part way and text briefly afterwards and that’s it.

Now i can’t seem to get him out of my mind, during the year we didn’t speak, i went to therapy and started feeling better, but since i met him my life has been collapsing, and this isn’t making it any better. I know you can’t explain why he’s doing this, but what i need help with is how get rid of any thought related to him out of my system, and how to react if he tries to get in touch.

I’m also very angry on why did i let myself get into all of this mess and didn’t pull the plug earlier, i’m in desperate need of help.

Hey everyone,

i’m a new to reddit and i hope i’m doing this right. i have exhausted every single option i have and i’m hoping this is going to help in a way.

So my story is: I (F) met with a guy during a business event 2.5 years back, the discussion between us flowed easily and wrapped up the evening by exchanging numbers. After which we started texting, now for context we both live in different countries but it would’ve been manageable.

We kept on texting as he had to go back to his home country for around 2 months daily, talking life, work and sometimes family related. He sent me photos of places he was traveling to for work, and photos of his meals, and i used to send photos back occasionally when there was something interesting. That’s when i knew i’m doomed! He slowly started pulling back and disappearing, and I was very confused, my anxiety started to kick in and i hated that, so tried to playfully ask him what is going on hoping that i would understand what’s going on. He said i’m a lovely lady, and he enjoys talking to me, but the reason he’s disengaging is due to personal events happened in the past which caused lots of insecurities for him, and before he deals with these insecurities he won’t be able to engage in any discussion or even proceed forward. Back then i respected his honesty and i told him i appreciate this and gave him his space. Now here i would have expected that he will stop engaging in any discussion, and i didn’t text first because he needed the space, just for him to continue sending pictures and talking about his week as if we never had that discussion, and his first text back was updating me about his surgery. My mistake here is that i kept on getting engaged in the discussions and i didn’t close the door.

Fast forward few month of no contact, he breaks the contact, few more months of no contact and i break it as i was in a very low moment.

a year of no contact goes by, and out of the blue he sends me a follow request and i hold back from accepting it but end up accepting it afterwards. He sees my story and knew that i’m in a particular place, so he messages me about it and offers helps as he has family there, i thank him and say it’s not needed, then he kept on checking on me, until i made it back to my home. Now we move on to low effort interactions where he started liking some of my stories. A while later we end up meeting in a different setup, we have a very casual chat and he asks me about how life is going and such questions and we remain engaged in a group discussion while he keeps on pointing out to things i mentioned before referring to me “X is good with this, X has been to that place…”, the evening ends and we part way and text briefly afterwards and that’s it.

Now i can’t seem to get him out of my mind, during the year we didn’t speak, i went to therapy and started feeling better, but since i met him my life has been collapsing, and this isn’t making it any better. I know you can’t explain why he’s doing this, but what i need help with is how get rid of any thought related to him out of my system, and how to react if he tries to get in touch.

I’m also very angry on why did i let myself get into all of this mess and didn’t pull the plug earlier, i’m in desperate need of help.