Hey yall, i was recently referred to the office of academic integrity and i plan on fighting the case. Does anyone know where and if i can get someone to advise me on how to build my case? Im trying to make the most out of GMUs resources. Would an academic advisor help?
This is mostly a rant, but i just really wanted to lay out my honest feelings out here. For reference, I wear a hijab, but most of my friends do and they dont seem to have a problem with making guy friends. Im in the most diverse area of the us btw.
I also think im not completely ugly, multiple people have told me that i am attractive and i try to take care of myself, dress well, put on perfume, a lil bit of makeup etc. i dont think i have a cringe voice or weird face expressions either. Im very similar to my female friends.
I am scared of guys, ever since i was young, i felt it was incredibly difficult to talk to a guy naturally. I feel that ive gotten better over the years, though. However, lately, ive just been so done and im 21 and never had any kind of situationship when literally all of my friends had. Everytime I have a crush on someone its just been eye contact between me and my crush, and it ends at just that, which is so frustrating to me. I end up crying over something that never happened and imagine possibilities of my future over and over and over again.
Everytime i catch a guy staring at me, they act like i dont exist. Whenever my friends bring a guy friend over, he doesnt even acknowledge my existence. Guys look away immediately as i enter the room. When i hosted a table alone once, a group of guys came over then looked absolutely bored to death by my presence. This one guy opens the door for me, looks me up and down, then sighs. Like, what is it about me thats so unwanted? Why do they seem interested at first, but then change their mind? How come its sooo easy for my friends to have guys friends, to have guys that actually initiate and chase them, what do they have that i dont? Like everytime i talk to a dude they dont give a fk about me like damn chill. Even when i talk to girls they dont act like that, its so godamn disrespectful. And they dont even know me yet like u didnt even give me a chance to actually get to know me.
Just now I cried over the thought that I might never see my crush again, how he wouldve probably never liked me anyway, how no guy ever would actually like me... i think its fine i dont want to get into a relationship anyway but it hurts. It really hurts to be unwanted. Ive never had any guy initiate anything with me. The most of ive gotten was a smirk and a wink but, again, i was too scared about the thought of actually talking to a guy flirtatiously. Maybe its this internal conflict that i have, but i still think that wouldnt deter most men. I dont know what it is about me, but guys find me attractive and detest me at the same time.