u/CriticalDependent536

Hi! I’m 26 and a cis female. I recently came out 3 months ago when I realized I had feelings for a friend that I’d known for a few months. I am pretty sure I am textbook comphet…. I was with a man for 4 years and he was my second long term relationship since i was 16.
I never thought I was gay or even bi, but was always an ally and made queer friends throughout my early 20s. I won’t go too much into my comphet experience because that isn’t the question I am asking here, but I will just say that I did not know what I was missing until I felt it for the first time. I loved the man I was with and we are friends now. I just didn’t know that I wasn’t feeling attraction to my body and soul’s full capacity until I felt it.

So, to get to my real question. For some quick context, the girl that I developed subconscious feelings for over the course of a few months and I didnt necessarily have a close friendship. We were in the same circle and interacted as classmates as well, but never hung out alone.

But any time in group settings she spoke openly about her sexuality or how she’s been hurt in the past, looking back, I felt strongly about it. Especially when she would say things that people have done to hurt her in the past, it made me REALLY upset. Im a very caring and empathetic person, so I did not question it at the time or think it had anything to do with my sexuality.

I am wondering if what I felt for her was love or just plain old attraction and care for a friend. Like does it take very strong feelings to break through comphet?? My theory is that I just never met or connected with anyone like her before (masc lesbian), so that’s why it cracked me? And we also had things in common of course. It’s all hard to explain since it’s tied to feelings inside of me that can’t entirely be put to words, I don’t know. But yea im just wondering I guess if there was any love in what I felt or just attraction and care?

Hii!! So I came out sort of recently and the first person I was very attracted to was a cis woman. Shes lesbian and has masc style/energy, but can also be feminine. Since then, I’ve been attracted to feminine and androgynous women alike. Up until this point, I considered myself lesbian.

For a bit more background, I’m in my mid 20s and until my attraction to that first girl, I thought I was straight and maybe bi-curious and was actually with a cis man. But since coming out have had absolutely no interest in cis men and have been feeling more clarity on many of my past experiences/feelings towards men(or lack thereof).

Now I am very attracted to a nonbinary, trans masc person. They have top surgery and are on T. They have both masc and femme qualities.

I know labels are fluid, but it is important to me to find something that resonates with me. I have been going with lesbian/queer and that’s what I have listed on my dating profile as well.

I know I have a long ways to go given how recently I came out, but based on where I’m at right now, I would love some opinions!

Any thoughts or advice are welcome:)