u/Crookies_and_scream

Im going to the beach with my family on the 28th, and i would like to know roughly how long i have to go without cutting myslef if i want to go in the water.

I haven't been to the beach since covid and my cutting started around 2021 (on my panty line, where nobody can see) when i was at my worst. I recently relapsed and since ive never been to the beach with my cuts i am unsure if the saltwater will burn or not, and if it will, how long is the minimum i have to force myself to stop cutting before the 28th to avoid it?

Ive recently relapsed and started cutting on my panty line again due to my family and high expectations. Ive been clean for a year prior to now and have just hit something white under my skin?

Im not good with depth. Im not sure where catscratch​ becomes styro, since ive never been brave enough to cut deeper.

After cutting one long one tonight i find a glittery white layer just before the blood starts flowing. Im afraid of scarring, so ive not investigated it myself, but i know its not hypodermis, as it is not deep enough.

If any of you know what it is and can help before it get too curious and mess something up, I'd really appreciate it.𖹭

For context, i am still a teenager (16, F) and his comments have really started to bother me within the last year.

My dad has a weird fixation on me using the toilet for too long, to the point where its become obsessive.

We live in romania and i have always had digestive problems from the poor food in our country, which lead me to becoming extremely constipated from around the start of puberty, which then caused me to have longer bathroom trips, around 15-25 minutes.

Since then, my dad started making weird, and even lewd comments about me, constantly pestering me about hemorrhoids and how no man would even want to put his penis in my ass by the time i was 10, which made me extremely uncomfortable, but he would never listen to me when i asked him to stop talking about it.

My mother has never corrected my dad's behavior. They have a steady relationship, they dont argue unless its something deeply personal, and i have a good relationship with mom too, but it still hurts knowing she's never stood up for me even when my dad started talking about my body like an object for sex when i was 10.

For the past two years, ive been saving lunch money to move out a soon as i can preferably around 19-21. However, my older brother (20) found out about these savings, and has stolen small amounts from me almost every other week, so its possible i wont be able to move out as early as i imagined.

Because of the stolen money and the gross things my dad keeps saying about my ass, ive been staying over at a friend's house. This friend, lets call her E, lives with her mother and grandmother, as her parents are divorced. I can stay at E's place all week and then have to stay home on weekends while she's at her dad's place. While living with E, ive noticed that the food her mother makes for us lets me pass food a lot easier, no longer constipated after every meal. That made me ask her mother about her recepies, which i then tried at home during weekends, though, since my family is poor, so is our food, and even is i follow E's mother's receptie exactly, i still get constipated, then have to suffer my dad's degrading warning again.

I hate having to constantly stay away from home just to avoid being seen as a failing sex worker. I am a teenager and know its not right for him to say things like this. Ive tried to document the things he's told me but i know the cops wont do anything about it, especially since my survival depends on him and my mom, they cant be seperated for my wellbeing.

Ps. My brother doesn't have a job. Hes stolen from our parents before too, and they let him get away with it, leading to worse food and more constipation.

!!Small update: thank you all for the recommendations, I was able to find some relatively cheap products to help with my digestive issues and am currently staying at E's house. I have moved my so they will be hidden at her place beneath my small small cluster of clothes and have a friend that's willing to let me stay in a rental with her when I start collage until I can get my own place.