u/Crossroad-Dilemma

I’m part of a mixed friendship group that used to feel very close and easygoing. We don’t live in the same city but reasonably close so we connect online and arrange regular meetups. Around 18 months ago, one person in the group became uncomfortable with some of my comments in our Discord chat. I apologized directly to them afterwards and accepted that I probably crossed lines for them even if I didn’t intend harm.

The confusing part has been everything that happened after.

Since then, the group slowly changed. I wasn’t directly confronted or kicked out, but there were situations where I wasn’t included in things, certain people became more distant, and I started feeling like I was being quietly managed around that person to avoid tension.

At the same time, some people in the group still continued being warm, inviting me to things, messaging me separately, etc. So it became this weird situation where I couldn’t tell if people genuinely still valued me, were just being polite,
or were trying to avoid conflict while naturally siding with the other person.

It was tough going through this but now I’m in a much better place, but I still sometimes wonder whether the group consciously started excluding me, whether everyone was just conflict avoidant, or whether this is simply what happens when one person no longer fits the emotional culture of a group.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Especially the “soft exclusion” / ambiguous distancing rather than outright conflict?

I’m part of a mixed friendship group that used to feel very close and easygoing. We don’t live in the same city but reasonably close so we connect online and arrange regular meetups. Around 18 months ago, one person in the group became uncomfortable with some of my comments in our Discord chat. I apologized directly to them afterwards and accepted that I probably crossed lines for them even if I didn’t intend harm.

The confusing part has been everything that happened after.

Since then, the group slowly changed. I wasn’t directly confronted or kicked out, but there were situations where I wasn’t included in things, certain people became more distant, and I started feeling like I was being quietly managed around that person to avoid tension.

At the same time, some people in the group still continued being warm, inviting me to things, messaging me separately, etc. So it became this weird situation where I couldn’t tell if people genuinely still valued me, were just being polite,
or were trying to avoid conflict while naturally siding with the other person.

It was tough going through this but now I’m in a much better place, but I still sometimes wonder whether the group consciously started excluding me, whether everyone was just conflict avoidant, or whether this is simply what happens when one person no longer fits the emotional culture of a group.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Especially the “soft exclusion” / ambiguous distancing rather than outright conflict?