and i didn’t find out until he pooped out all the wrappers. i was going nuts trying to figure out where they all went. i figured if he would’ve eaten them SURELY the wrappers would have been left behind.
Here are the bracelets i’ve made so far for the detroit show! I just ordered more beads today so i’d love to know which are some of y’all’s favorites/which ones i should make more of! i’m also open to ideas:))
i got a flip phone recently and am hoping for ideas with audios i can use for my ringtone! nothing is coming to mind except for their tour songs, but i’m not really interested in using those. shoot me some ideas! (preferably silly)
Hi there. As the title states, i’m looking for advice on how to help my friend understand that her “polyamorous” relationship isn’t polyamory, but is actually an unfair open relationship.
For context, my friend Aspen is dating Birch. They have been together for a year and identify as poly, but nothing about their dynamic feels,,, fair?? Last night Aspen and I went out clubbing with some friends and she confided in me about how she discussed with Birch what the “rules” were for her tonight regarding flirting with/kissing people, maybe even getting to know someone. Birch said he was not ready for that yet, and she expressed to me that she is disappointed because she was hoping she would be able to do the things she “lets” him do. I then learned that recently Birch met a girl who he was all up on at a convention they went to recently. Now Birch wants to go meet them again out of state where they live.
She explained that she loves seeing him with other people and just wants the same reciprocated, but he never “lets” her (this word was used a lot regarding them being open). Pretty soon after, Birch called Aspen in the middle of our conversation to tell her that she ruined his night by asking if she could kiss/flirt with people because she can never just go out without looking for other people. The call then turned into how Birch doesn’t feel comfortable letting Aspen seek out other people because of a SA that happened to her where she “didn’t stick up for herself.” He goes on to say “how can i trust you to stick up for yourself when you seek out other people when you couldn’t even do it when *sa happened*”.
I was really shocked that Birch said this. And I have no advice for her. Which is why i’m coming here. Because I know and can see that it is so wrong and dysfunctional but I don’t have the words to explain to her why. I tell her that the behavior is unfair and a double standard, but her replies are always along the lines of “he’s not an evil person, he has his own stuff going on, etc etc”.
I’m hoping to come to her with something along the lines of “This is not polyamory because x is happening and polyamory is about y”. I’m just not poly/open myself so I don’t have examples or wisdom from personal experience.
I really hope this makes sense:( I just want to be a support for her and a good friend.
Edit: changed initials into names
Edit 2: thank you all for the replies. the biggest takeaway i’ve gotten from this is that i need to prioritize the fact that the relationship is abusive and be supportive/a good listener- and that it’s not my job or place to really give her advice on polyamory. despite the last bit, i still value the advice and suggestions I was given regarding the subject and will definitely refer to them if she ever asks for insight.
I did talk to her earlier today where she explained to me that they have “made up” from the situation last night. it is unfortunate and I still wish I had better words for her, but the resources that y’all have given me and the ones that I’ve been able to find through those resources will help me a lot I believe. thank you so much for all your help.