u/Cultural_Reality_184

we fractured so loudly this time,

a sharp departure from the quiet grace we used to hold,

and I am left searching for the person you were just a year ago

the version of you that didn't feel like a stranger.

instead, I am met with a coldness I do not recognize,

a bitter resentment for the ways you choose to tear down

the foundation we spent our days building.

it hurts to be treated like an enemy by the one who held my peace.

and yet, in the quiet, I look backward at my own hands.

I carry the weight of my own shortcomings,

the heavy regret of wishing I had known how to love you better,

wished I could have been the partner you truly needed when the shadows crept in.

but let the record of us remain entirely unbroken:

I never stepped out on you. I never wandered.

every word I gave you was stripped of deceit,

an honesty that stood firm even as the storm pulled us under.

now, there is only this jagged edge where a clean break should be.

you deny me the finality of a closing door,

leaving me to suffer the lack of closure I desperately needed from your heart,

fading away into a silence that explains nothing at all.

it didn't have to be this way.

I look at the wreckage and still wish, with everything left in me,

that the pieces had fit, that we had won,

that it could have all worked out the way we whispered it would.

but somewhere, in another version of this story,

the truth was enough to save us.

we mended the breaks before they turned to malice,

and we didn't have to become casualties of what we couldn't say.

maybe there,

we learned how to look at each other without anger.

maybe there,

you are still the one I knew and loved with every fiber of my being.

Dear Brat,

I find myself navigating the spaces between your silence and the echoes of your letters you leave behind in the void, still searching for the frequency where we can align.

Lately, it feels as if we are inhabiting two different versions of the same reality. In one reality, your words feel like a soul that truly knows me intimately, and in another reality, our personal interactions feel charged with feelings I cannot identify. These interactions result in a friction that leaves me stuck in limbo and I don't know where to turn. I’ve realized that trying to force a bridge between these realities only seems to create more friction.

I will not pretend to understand the pain or the triggers that are causing this rift between us. I suspect that sometimes the closer we get to something real, the more the shadows try to pull us apart. If you are projecting a version of me that is easier for you to push away, know that I am still standing here as the person who sees you clearly. I am not a ghost, and I am not an enemy. I am connected to you in ways I still cannot explain in words alone.

I am choosing to remain in this space with you, not as a burden or a judge, but as a constant for you to lean on as needed. While others might suggest that we explore the harbor of friendship, I still believe we are destined and tethered to each other as twin flames and that is the connection I choose to honor.

I am not walking away. You are the soul I feel called on to stand by, and regardless of the current weather conditions. Know that I am here, whenever the fog clears enough for you to see the lighthouse and navigate yourself back to our love. Because, "you’ll never be someone I wish I didn’t know. You are the quiet ache of joy that stays even when the room empties. You are what love feels like when it finally makes sense" (Warren Zeiders, Love in Letting Go).

Love,

Your bestest friend