Got a mail to finish my exit formalities, and I can’t stop grieving.
Before getting pregnant, I genuinely didn’t think I’d have to quit my job. I really thought I had the village. But the painful realization along the way humbled me and honestly hit my self-esteem too.
I thought I could have it all. Good academics, a successful career, a happy marriage, a cute baby, financial stability, all before 30. But life humbled me.
I quit the job that gave me freedom and identity.
I’m still learning to make peace with the “village” I thought I had. I also have a long way to go in learning not to associate my self-worth with the money I make.
I don’t know what I’ll do next. I keep thinking of infinite ways to make money without leaving my baby. It’s difficult, you know, to keep showing up as a mom even on the days you feel like you lost a piece of your soul.
I’m not worried about being provided for. My husband is great. It’s just that little-girl version of me truly believed she could have it all, and life humbled her. I’m grieving the version of myself I thought I’d become.
And the agonizing part? My company straight-up told me to quit when I asked for WFH. I was baffled.
If you had asked me about child-free people a few years ago, I probably would’ve laughed at them. But now that I’ve actually experienced motherhood, I completely understand them.
Don’t get me wrong. I deeply love my baby, and I truly love being a mom. I wouldn’t trade my baby for the “corporate baddie” title. But life taught me not to judge child-free people, because motherhood demands immense sacrifice, especially from women. And not everyone has the privilege of quitting their career.
So yeah, I deeply love motherhood while also acknowledging that it cost me big time.