My anxiety is hurting my relationship.
Just for some background my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, we have a great relationship. I also have never been someone to deal with daily generalized anxiety, just situational. Back in February I had a weird insomnia spell for 4 days while I was sick. Ever since then I’ve had sleep issues and anxiety everyday about sleep even if I get good sleep for two weeks straight. I’ve been to a doctor a couple times, we’ve tried hydroxyzine but that didn’t work too long and for the last two months I’ve been on trazodone which has helped. I also see a therapist but coping mechanisms only do so much. Usually I’ll sleep good for about two weeks or so and have one sleepless night and the cycle repeats. This has cause a lot of mental health distress, mostly anxiety and some depression. Sometimes I feel like myself and sometimes I don’t. I never had sleep issues before this. So with all of that being said it has been causing an issue in my relationship. I used to have a pretty normal sex drive but within the last few months it’s definitely decreased. I also went back to college a year ago and have been balancing that and work but never felt overly stressed about it so I don’t think that’s the issue? My boyfriend has noticed and now I’m feeling pressure. I just don’t get horny anymore, I really only do if he’s with me and is being sweet and cuddly, but he’s not that kind of person so that doesn’t happen often. He said he’s been feeling insecure about it, not in a way of me not finding him attractive because that’s definitely not the case. He knows about my anxiety but today said “if there’s anything personal going on with you I want to know so I can help” I couldn’t bring myself to answer that question or go into more detail about how I’ve been feeling this morning because I didn’t want to break down in the middle of a restaurant. I also feel like sometimes our relationship is too goofy. When he tries to initiate sex 90% of the time it’s with a joke and goofing off but that doesn’t really turn me on, I’ve told him that before. I just want some more romance and I’ve also said that before and he replied that he can’t always promise to be romantic since he’s not that kind of guy. Sometimes I just want gentle, slow, romantic kisses and words instead of goofiness. I just don’t know where to go from here. Is there anything else I could do to fix this? Would I benefit from anxiety meds? How can I go about bringing this up to him without it sounding like I’m placing the blame on him for being too goofy? He can get defensive at times. Any advice or insight would be helpful!