Endometriosis + Chemopause
In 2022 I was diagnosed with endometriosis and found out that I had a lower than normal ovarian reserve for my age (my AMH fluctuated from 1.7 to a normal 3.3 by the time I did IVF). I was stage 3 at diagnosis and a world renowned fertility specialist removed an endometrioma from my right ovary. Still couldn’t conceive after 3 months and I was in so much pain we jumped into IVF. Found out my ovaries were pretty shot. 12 eggs, only one fragile embryo. Then I got a pulmonary embolism (I later found out it was because I had lymphoma and didn’t know it). 6 months later I did another retrieval with only 3 eggs retrieved. Did a fresh transfer and had my son and a 4BA euploid boy frozen. I was ill my entire pregnancy but was not diagnosed with lymphoma until my son was 5 months old. They actually tried to tell me my lymphoma was endometriosis that was strangling my ureter so I had another excision surgery with another doctor who removed two endometriomas from both ovaries… except they weren’t endometriomas - they were normal ovarian tissue. I was diagnosed with cancer and started BV-CHP chemo a week later. I was told repeatedly by my hematology team that I would not go into menopause. Well it seems that my doctor needlessly removed a bunch of eggs from my ovaries and then chemo killed the rest. I’m 10 months out and my FSH is 166, my AMH is .01, and all my other numbers are indicative of menopause. I’m on HRT, it isn’t helping. I am FURIOUS. And I’m also still in pain. Is this normal? Like why am I getting ovary twinges and cramping if chemo caused my ovaries to fail? The only silver lining I was hanging onto is that at least I wouldn’t deal with endo flare ups… but it seems like that is not the case and I’m so angry and emotional. I feel like I’m less of a woman because I have absolutely no sex drive and my body failed me. Therapy isn’t helping and I feel so alone in this and just want to know I’m not the only one dealing with this.