What day after delivery via C-section were you able to hold the baby? When did you feel strong enough for a little walk inside or outside? How many days in did you feel a bitore confident to do jobs? When did it stop hurting getting in and out of bed?
I find the information about labour pain so subjectively written that I struggle to make heads or tails from mum's experiences. I was wondering if you'd be willing to rate and describe how it actually feels like to a FTM who is really scared (and feels prepared by learning about it)
Let's say the pain scale is:
\- 0 (no pain)
\- to 10 (total agony, amputation with no pain relief kind of pain)
How painful were the following, how would you describe the pain (sharp, stubby, burning, dull), where was the pain, how often does it last and come:
Early labour? Did TENS machine help if you had it?
Active labour (4cm+)? And if you get an epidural or other pain relief, how different was the experience?
Transition?
Pushing? If you had instruments, how bad was that? How bad was the episiotomy? Do you think Aniball/Epi-No helped, if you used it?
Stitching?
Recovery?
I’m a 38yo autistic FTM and 38w. I’ve tried to do my best to prepare: stayed fit, eat well, practice breathing, and even reached 9.5cm on my Epi-No—just in case.
I do have an elective C-section planned because it kind of happened.... It seems what they recommend when someone is scared like i. I'm also told with my profile I have a 45% chance of needing an emergency C-section or an instrumental delivery. People keep telling me I’m choosing this for "control" but that isn't it at all (how can CS even be about control? Someone else slices your belly open!).
Now that the C-section date is looming, a part of me feels a pull to try for a vaginal birth (with an epidural—let’s be clear, I am definitely not the unmedicated, home, or water-birth type!).
I just don't know what to do :(. I feel like I’m failing at having that "maternal instinct" that just knows what’s right. I see so many women who seem 100% sure of their choice, and I don't understand how they can be that certain when there is no way to know how it will go.
Am I just getting cold feet about the C-section, or am I preparing for major abdominal surgery when I don't necessarily have to? Or would vaginal birth end in so many complications, I'd regret it? Or would I (and that happens) be in a total panick attack when either happens?
I’m reaching out because I desperately need to hear from others who have been here.
Are there any older first-time moms who attempted a vaginal birth with an epidural and actually had a positive experience?
Or, for those who stuck with the elective C-section, did you ever look back with regret, or did you find the peace you were looking for?
I find the information about labour pain so subjectively written that I struggle to make heads or tails from mum's experiences. I was wondering if you'd be willing to rate and describe how it actually feels like to a FTM who is really scared (and feels prepared by learning about it)
Let's say the pain scale is:
- 0 (no pain)
- to 10 (total agony, amputation with no pain relief kind of pain)
How painful were the following, how would you describe the pain (sharp, stubby, burning, dull), where was the pain, how often does it last and come:
Early labour? Did TENS machine help if you had it?
Active labour (4cm+)? And if you get an epidural or other pain relief, how different was the experience?
Transition?
Pushing? If you had instruments, how bad was that? How bad was the episiotomy? Do you think Aniball/Epi-No helped, if you used it?
Stitching?
Recovery?
I’m a 38yo autistic FTM and 38w. I’ve tried to do my best to prepare: stayed fit, eat well, practice breathing, and even reached 9.5cm on my Epi-No—just in case.
I do have an elective C-section planned because it kind of happened.... It seems what they recommend when someone is scared like i. I'm also told with my profile I have a 45% chance of needing an emergency C-section or an instrumental delivery. People keep telling me I’m choosing this for "control" but that isn't it at all (how can CS even be about control? Someone else slices your belly open!).
Now that the C-section date is looming, a part of me feels a pull to try for a vaginal birth (with an epidural—let’s be clear, I am definitely not the unmedicated, home, or water-birth type!).
I just don't know what to do :(. I feel like I’m failing at having that "maternal instinct" that just knows what’s right. I see so many women who seem 100% sure of their choice, and I don't understand how they can be that certain when there is no way to know how it will go.
Am I just getting cold feet about the C-section, or am I preparing for major abdominal surgery when I don't necessarily have to? Or would vaginal birth end in so many complications, I'd regret it? Or would I (and that happens) be in a total panick attack when either happens?
I’m reaching out because I desperately need to hear from others who have been here.
Are there any older first-time moms who attempted a vaginal birth with an epidural and actually had a positive experience?
Or, for those who stuck with the elective C-section, did you ever look back with regret, or did you find the peace you were looking for?
Due in 3 weeks and anxious. Doing everything I can to make labour easier.
I wanted to ask ladies around here if anyone has done a lot of prep like this and do you think it helped? I guess I would love to minimise pain and not have a bad tear or episiotomy. And avoid postpartum issues like prolapse or incontinence.
I know nobody can guarantee anything :(. I'm just wondering if what I'm doing helps at all and whether there is something else I can do
Here's what I'm doing:
- continue gym since before pregnancy, 2-3 times a week, 40min cardio, 30min resistance training or deep stretching
- 20min hip opening/mobility exercises 5 times a week
- 2x 10min daily perineum massage
- 2x 20 min daily epi no training. I'm currently at about 8.5 cm. Practising up breathing when holding and down breathing when pushing and various epidural safe positions
- my core remained pretty strong and I don't think there is any (or maybe very tiny) separation
- eat 7 dates per day
- I eat organic collagen daily (cleared with my OB)
- drink raspberry leaf tea, 1 to 2 cups per day
- eat well (lots of veg, fruit, yoghurt, nuts, fish etc), I'm nearly out of constant constipation
- daily Pregnacare max
- plan to use TENs machine, paracetamol, bath, relaxation techniques, hip counter pressure, hot water bottle etc in early labour
- at the hospital plan to get an epidural ASAP (non negotiable for me, though I know there are some situations where I might not get it) and sleep to recover strength
- were packing some nutritious snacks, water, energy drinks
- Husband trained in helping me calm down and breathe with me
How effective would you call following in either early or active labour:
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- hand comb squeezing
- hip counter pressure
- TENS machine
- at home paracetamol + ibuprofen
- codeine
- diamorphine
- other tablets offered at your hospital
- gas and air
- spinal
- epidural
- anything else?
Where are those mythical women whose births went well??? And by well I mean: they first time moms, weren't heroes or lotus hypnobirthing children, they were average level of fit/healthy and despite the low pain threshold they dealt with pain ok, got what they wanted (like epidural), had 1st degrees tear only or none at all, postpartum was ok and no other complications or assistance needed.
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Every time I read a post about births it's 95% scary stories of trauma and 5% someone saying most births go well and these scary stories are outliers, but there is hardly anything to back it up!!! Unless by "went well" people do mean things I'd class as traumatic?
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BACKGROUND: I'm due soon and pretty pretty scared. I crave some grounded realistic birth stories that actually genuinely went well without whitewashing the story. If that's you, please share!
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