u/CustardPleasant1971

I just found this group & thought maybe I should vent. My mother currently has stage 4 esophageal cancer. I’m only 20 years old & I feel like the world has stopped moving since that diagnosis.

She got diagnosed with cancer 4 months ago and it’s already been a difficult journey. I know most people in this group know that she would be having ups and downs + what not. I’ve learned it just comes with this part of life. Being a caretaker for her has been the worst & the best thing I’ve ever done. I feel guilty when I say the worst, because I just never imagined our life, mine especially, would have this 180. It’s been the best though because she’s always taken care of me & now it’s my turn. I’m honored that this beautiful woman cared for me and now I get to do it for her. Just angry it’s so soon.

I should add ; I’m engaged to my loving fiance. He’s a great man, he’s just never been through what im going through. Not to say he’s insensitive but it’s very isolating. He gets to call his family, especially his mother & I find myself getting jealous almost? I wish I could talk to mine like that again without feeling guilty since she has so much on her plate…She doesn’t need to worry about keeping mine clean. I’m just frustrated time to time because he doesn’t understand the mental load & I wish sometimes he did.

I’m also 2 months pregnant. Emotions are everywhere already dealing with this. When my mother got diagnosed, my bestfriend of 8 years ghosted me. I guess starting a family & my mother struggling - me caretaking - ruined the whole “fun 20s” scenario she had. When they say “it takes a village”..I wish I had a village. I’ve been supporting the rest of my family & I feel like nobody is keeping me floating.

I’m just emotionally exhausted like I said. It’s been so hard and too much all at once. I just want things to get better. I’m reaching out on this group cause I just need advice or kind words..everything has been a lot lately & i simply need something positive to hold onto.

(Trigger warning - sensitive topic) Hi! I’m a (20f)! Recently in the last year my mother got diagnosed with cancer involving her esophagus & throat. During the first month of her hospital stay, me staying with her almost the whole time, of course induced a lot of stress. I started getting a sore throat every now & then - to what I thought was allergies.

When she finally came home & things started to unravel the symptoms would start up again. I wasn’t leaving the house much so I didn’t think it was allergies anymore. I ended up googling if anxiety can cause lymph nodes to swell on one side, or if it can cause a sore throat…everything told me yes.. but the catch it I read that some of these symptoms lead to throat cancer.

I haven’t been able to shake it. My throat has a tendency of getting an itchy feeling off & on. Different sides seem uncomfortable once in awhile, and I feel hyper fixated on swallowing because of my anxiety. I don’t know if it’s a domino effect I’m causing on myself due to me being in a stressful situation and maybe adding more anxiety + pressure but I’m going crazy. I keep body checking myself and if just one minor thing doesn’t feel up to standard I fall apart.

I need advice really bad. When I was younger I had a history with smoking/vaping. I’m not proud of it. I quit heavy vaping about a year ago & stopped after 5 years. I was an idiot kid, I know. I’m just honestly horrified.