Advice
Asc, I wanted to get some advice on how to properly start the marriage search. Ive done research and it seems like the proper way to do it is to get a recommendation from a family or a friend. Get introduced to the wali and with their permission set up meetings between the two parties.
I've never seen anyone do this form of courtship in my immediate family or friends. All of them approached their spouses or got to know them from work, school or hangout spots. There was also a lack of any supervision when going out to meet and they say that its fine as long as your respectful and make it clear so that no fitnah goes on.
I wouldn't consider myself more religious then them but I've had chances to do these things but my intuition keeps telling me to reconsider. It just feels a bit messy thats the best I can describe it. I've also tried doing it the way I mentioned in the beginning and I've had no luck even when asking family. I don't know if im just making things difficult or if I should just do what has been working for everyone else.
I would really benefit if i could have any real life examples and actions anyone took that worked for them. I haven't given up and don't plan on making any rash decisions. Basically just looking for some clarity inshallah. My plan for now is to just keep asking around, to also try online and maybe even try finding a spouse abroad where this is normal.