u/Cute-Oil-1568

So, I just finished grade 12 and realized that I haven’t made a single friend throughout my school or college life. It’s mostly my fault for not being able to make friends. I’m an absolute introvert, and I’ve always been shy and gloomy. I could never start conversations. I thought that in college I’d do better and make some new friends, but I couldn’t do that either. I never had the confidence. I used to stay gloomy all the time, so that might have been the reason that scared everyone away. I had a few friends in middle school, but we eventually parted ways. They stayed in touch with each other, but I never could. I was never really part of that group, maybe because I never put in much effort. All I did was remember their birthdays, and that was it. I never went out with them or even clicked pictures because of my insecurities. I told myself I wouldn’t repeat the cycle, but then I did. I did it again and again, even in grades 11 and 12 the two years when I thought I would at least make one friend. But because of the same insecurities, I let them win. I never clicked pictures, made TikToks, danced, or did anything like that. And now I’m sitting here getting upset all over again. They posted a picture together, and when I looked at my DMs, they were empty. I don’t know why, but I just felt like crying.