u/CuteRaisin2329

Not sure if this is the right place.

But I’m want to be more patient with my mom.

She has never been diagnosed, but I honestly feel like she may have some form of neurodiversity. She has always been this way, but after moving away from my home country 10 years ago, I think I forgot how intense some of it could be. She moved here 2 years ago, and now that I’m an adult, I’m noticing so much more.

Some days, I catch myself responding with less patience and warmth than I’d like. I love her deeply and truly want to be there for her.

I can not mention all but here are some:

Since I was little, she has always collected things—from small crystal figurines to miniature perfumes.

She can also be incredibly organized, to the point where all her clothes are arranged by color, every hanger faces the same direction, and everything is folded a specific way.

She has different purses and accessories for different outfits, always carefully color-coordinated—even down to her phone case.

But despite all this organization, it can also coexist with huge chaos, almost like hoarding.

She can talk for hours without much response, yet in her mind, it feels like a full conversation. Honestly, that part doesn’t really bother me because she has always been like this, and I’m naturally someone who enjoys listening.

She can be doing task, not finish and continue with the next, and so on.

She forget where she puts something and her moods can go from tired/ depressed to super productive

Anyways…

Where it becomes difficult is during conversations with other people.

For example, if I’m talking with my aunt:

“Look at that, the train is beautiful.”

Mom: “What’s beautiful?”

“The train.”

Mom: “Where?”

“To the left, Mom.”

You can not have a proper conversation because constantly gets interrupted with questions that in my opinion can be answered by paying attention to the conversation.

At the beginning of the day, I have plenty of patience, but by the end, I can feel it wearing thin. I start sounding more tired or irritated, even when I’m trying my best not to.

If she’s doing something, she often wants me to immediately notice it, acknowledge it, or engage with it—even if I’m already busy.

It’s hard to explain, but sometimes it feels like caring for a child in an adult body.

She is getting older, so I know these behaviors may become more challenging over time.

How can I shift my perspective and become more patient with her?

I just want to share something I wish I had read before postpartum.

I stayed active through most of my pregnancy, lifting weights until 28 weeks, and after that, mostly walking.

I took things lightly because I thought I’d be back in the gym soon.

However, life changed. I sold my car, and my family lives far away, so I don’t have much help with the baby.

For 10 months, I kept trying to “go back” to my old routine, which was frustrating. I looked for childcare options at gyms, but nothing nearby offered it anymore (most closed after COVID).

Then, at 11 months postpartum, something finally clicked.

One of the reasons I’ve enjoyed postpartum so much is because, in my opinion, I wasn’t constantly trying to get my old life back. I accepted things as they were—the good and the bad.

So I decided to apply that same mindset to exercise.

I got some good adjustable heavy weights, a walking pad, and started doing 20–30 minute workouts during naps. (Especially enjoy madfit videos on YouTube)

I didn’t think much of it at first, but now I actually have a better body than I did pre-pregnancy. Honestly, I think I may have been over-exercising before.

Anyways…

If you have no village, know that life will be different—and that doesn’t mean it will be worse! 💖

If I were pregnant again, I’d tell myself: get the weights. I even bought a short barbell for hip thrusts, lol.

I live in an apartment, so there’s not much space, but it works.