Finding job near family vs near choice
My husband and I are finishing up training that has taken 13 years and are finally looking for jobs. I'm very very close with my mom who's been here for us, helping us with our 3 kids (age 1.5, 3, and 6) for sometimes months at a time the whole way through (and then moves back to places far away for the winters and summers, so she's never been permanently close by). My mom was saying she'd try to move wherever we settle down, which I would love because our kids are so close with her and so am I. Fortunately for her she met a guy her age (71) this past fall and is really smitten over him, so now that whole plan changed. She's planning on moving down south to be near/with him to a very small town. My sister lives 2h from there, which is so nice for them that they'd be close to each other.
I get along well with my sister, but she is very pre-occupied with vanity, "keeping up with the Jones's", has her kids in a million activities, and has a busy social life in that area. She would never include me and my husband in if we were there. We get along well but she hasn't really been an inclusive older sibling to the point I'd want to move somewhere to be near her (I'd still see her twice a year).
Now we're at a crossroads where we can finally look for jobs and I'm getting pressure from my mom and sister to move to the state that my mom's moving to and my sister lives in. The problem is I don't want to settle in that area at all!! I don't want to live in that political climate, it's sweltering hot, buggy, I don't have a single friend there (and can't rely on my sister for social inclusion at all if I transplant there). I'd rather live near my best friend in CO if I had to pick. But I hate the thought of never seeing my mom anymore as she goes from 70 to 80. I'm so torn. We've worked so hard through training to finally live where we want and family is important but ... if my mom is choosing to leave, why do I have to follow?