Performance anxiety, Anorgasmia or something else?
For reference, I'm F(21) and my partner is AFAB(20).
In terms of experience, I've never been with someone before whereas my partner has had 1 sexual encounter. With eachother, I've been able to make him orgasm on multiple occasions. However, despite our attempts, I've had no luck coming myself.
I've been able to reach an orgasm when I'm alone, but when I'm with him, I struggle. In a sense, it doesn't even feel remotely good. Sometimes it can start to feel nice, but otherwise I feel numb completely.
I've passed it off as performance anxiety as I am anxiety prone and a fairly insecure person so I figured it makes sense. Though, I do wonder if it could be some hormonal issues as I have an ongoing issue I'm trying to solve with potentially getting diagnosed with PCOS or something along those lines.
I don't think I'm asexual since I actively want to be sexual and seek it out. It's just feels like I'm experiencing some battle with my brain on whether I actually want it or not because depsite being aroused, the moment I'm touched down there, it goes away.
On the second attempt we tried, I started to feel something, but then because of the friction, I started to bleed and then was immediately turned off.
Overall, I'm really struggling because I hate not having an answer to a problem and it's bothering me since I really want to enjoy this experience with him, 'hands on' (literally) as I don't want to introduce any toys yet until we've done it 'naturally' because I know I can do it on my own without anything.