My (28F) girlfriend (26F) of 3 years has gotten way too fat and it’s killing my attraction. How do I make her fix it without her flipping out?
. Throwaway for obvious reasons. We’ve been together 3 years and when we first got together she was seriously hot — like a solid 8/10, fit, toned, actually cared about her body, went to the gym, ate clean. Now? She’s blown up to like 220+ lbs (she’s 5’4”) and it’s honestly gross. She has a big hanging belly, double chin forming, thunder thighs that rub together, the whole package. She looks nothing like the girl I fell for.
I still love her personality, but I’m barely attracted to her anymore. Sex has become rare and feels like a chore. It’s hard to even enjoy it because there’s so much fat in the way — positions that used to be hot are awkward now and I just can’t get into it. I’ve tried subtle hints like “we should eat healthier together babe” or “wanna hit the gym with me?” but she just gets defensive, says she’s “happy like this,” and then stress-eats more ice cream on the couch.
I stay in shape, I lift, I take care of myself. Why do I have to settle for dating someone who’s let herself go like this? She expects me to just be fine with her being obese now. I didn’t sign up to date a cow. I’ve even thought about hooking up with someone else or just breaking up, but we live together and have all the same friends so it’s messy.
How do I tell her straight up that she’s gotten too fat and needs to drop at least 60-70 lbs if she wants to keep me? Every time I try to bring it up “nicely” she cries and calls me shallow or abusive. Am I the asshole for wanting my girlfriend to not be obese? Looking for real advice.