u/DM_Stapes

To start, my belief structure is complicated. I was an atheist, agnostic, and pushed into Bible College by a church that did not want to answer questions, but sought to drop me as a bad habit. During all of that, I was also pushed into a marriage with my then-girlfriend that turned into a 10-year-long ordeal that developed, died, and decomposed as a result of trauma that we both contributed to actively.

Background to Support Inquiry: I'd call myself a skeptical relationalist who leans heavily on his faith now to maintain some sense of normalcy. But I also understand that my biology, emotional development, and personality are the result of earthly and possibly beyond factors. My spirit, my God, is in the details and the in-between and has called me to be a creature of Love, Compassion, Joy, and Reprieve to others despite differences, and that is where I feel that I differ from a portion of the broad Christian Community. I am not called to judge; even those I passionately disagree with, I will love until I die, because they deserve love, life, and the human experience and the ability to come to Christ. It honestly makes me feel ostracized in a lot of ways, and thus, I am worried about being single after 30. How do I stop that worry?

This places me in this camp, where I find myself unable to locate people to do life with who think in a similar vein. People are trying to change my beliefs, and will ultimately be unsuccessful. I took that Bible College degree into a Master's and developed and deconstructed until I found myself here. Now I am restarting and trying to figure out the pieces of this Love Cup I call a soul.

So what do I do? Where do I go? Love seems so far out because I am stuck in this spot. But I know in my heart of hearts that there is someone out there. Someone who will reciprocate the love that I have, and that will be a cherry on top, not my reason for loving, living, or alike.

One of the problems I have is the idea of society-imposed obligations for religious individuals rather than what their own structure truly believes. I want my relationship to be a choice, someone I choose each and every day because I love them and enjoy them. Not some obligation that I have to have, or a drug that I need to remain stable.... So how do I find that? The impulse, the indiscriminant voice in my body that argues for my demise, says it's impossible. Call it the devil, call it self-doubt, call it whatever, it's clearly there, and it is alive. So I push, I work on myself, I start programs, I volunteer with Nerds, I love on people, and I listen, that voice gets smaller and smaller.

So TLDR, my fellow people of religion. How do we date? How is intentionality important in your life? What do you love and how do you share that with others? Do you stick to church to date? What apps do you find helpful?

To start, my belief structure is complicated. I was an atheist, agnostic, and pushed into Bible College by a church that did not want to answer questions, but sought to drop me as a bad habit. During all of that, I was also pushed into a marriage with my then-girlfriend that turned into a 10-year-long ordeal that developed, died, and decomposed as a result of trauma that we both contributed to actively.

Background to Support Inquiry: I'd call myself a skeptical relationalist who leans heavily on his faith now to maintain some sense of normalcy. But I also understand that my biology, emotional development, and personality are the result of earthly and possibly beyond factors. My spirit, my God, is in the details and the in-between and has called me to be a creature of Love, Compassion, Joy, and Reprieve to others despite differences, and that is where I feel that I differ from a portion of the broad Christian Community. I am not called to judge; even those I passionately disagree with, I will love until I die, because they deserve love, life, and the human experience. It honestly makes me feel ostracized in a lot of ways, and thus, I am worried about being single after 30. How do I stop that worry?

This places me in this camp, where I find myself unable to locate people to do life with who think in a similar vein. People are trying to change my beliefs, and will ultimately be unsuccessful. I took that Bible College degree into a Master's and developed and deconstructed until I found myself here. Now I am restarting(as detailed in my last post) and trying to figure out the pieces of this Love Cup I call a soul.

So what do I do? Where do I go? Love seems so far out because I am stuck in this spot. But I know in my heart of hearts that there is someone out there. Someone who will reciprocate the love that I have, and that will be a cherry on top, not my reason for loving, living, or alike.

One of the problems I have is the idea of society-imposed obligations for religious individuals rather than what their own structure truly believes. I want my relationship to be a choice, someone I choose each and every day because I love them and enjoy them. Not some obligation that I have to have, or a drug that I need to remain stable.... So how do I find that? The impulse, the indiscriminant voice in my body that argues for my demise, says it's impossible. Call it the devil, call it self-doubt, call it whatever, it's clearly there, and it is alive. So I push, I work on myself, I start programs, I volunteer with Nerds, I love on people, and I listen, that voice gets smaller and smaller.

So TLDR, my fellow people of religion. How do we date? How is intentionality important in your life? What do you love and how do you share that with others? Do you stick to church to date? What apps do you find helpful?

Hey guys, I went forward and started some weight loss after hitting my max cap of 500lbs in 2025. I have lost around 90lbs (80 natural and 10glp) and hit a wall so I started some medication to help get over the hump.

I am averaging around 2500 Calories per day at 6ft4inch and I am still trying actively to lose my weight and get through all this gunk I got after some trauma and nastiness. So I am trying to see if anyone has any guides or tips on how to keep losing.

I lost around 80lbs in a year, I am hoping to get closer and closer to 250. Ideal goal at the moment feels like it is so far off.... 160lbs seems insurmountable and I am trying to see how other people feel? Do I need to go down to 1500kcal per day? How do you stave off hunger and alike? Feeling a little lost.

Backstory: Unfortunately, I married my high school sweetheart, we lived, laughed, and loved together until there was a cheating scandal(not me), and we tried after we separated to come back together, but ultimately failed. 2024 was a hell of a year.

I left that relationship with a lot of baggage, a hole in my love cup, so to speak, and it was leaking all the emotions, all the hurt, and I was looking to patch it and fill myself with that feeling that I missed so much. Here I find myself freshly 31, I dove into another relationship, and it broke off after neither of our attachment styles meshed, and I am picking up the pieces again.

What I've found: I need to be able to patch my hole in my heart with myself, and for those of you religious individuals, the universe, God, or whatever you might equate to spiritually. It's hard, and I've found that this coffee mug that I am holding, which in reality is my heart, has sludge in the bottom I need to pull out, as I am patching the hole, and so I've been doing that. Therapy sessions once or twice a week, trips to foreign lands to feel myself out, and discovering what I feel the universe is calling me to do.

Where I am worried: I was raised a traditional Christian. 2 kids by 30, and a white picket-fenced yard. I am finding that it's a farce, family looks older and older as I get on, but I do have a desire for someone special. The cynical part of me says it's not gonna happen, too fat, too out of shape, too this, too that. The reality is that my life is changing, I'm making health decisions, I am down 80+ LBS this year alone(500 at heaviest ->410 and losing 6ft4), and while life is hard, it's worth it, and I am happy. My worry is finding someone who will love me for who I am. While I am improving. No old mistakes is a motto I've stolen from a friend. So I'm unsure what I'm worried about, but it's still there.

What I am seeking: Answers. Is there a path to love after a loss? Pain, loss of an unborn child, cheating, divorce? Is there hope for a family? Why does it seem so bleak in the moment when there is beauty all around me?

The truth is, I'm not saddened by success, but I long for friendship, companionship, and alike, I long for a love that loves me like I love others, and I am learning to do that for myself. But man, having someone else in the ring is something I miss at times. I'm building community, but I'm also this niche individual who is starting charitable programs for youth, doing Esports for inner-city kids, and my passion is going into that, but I want it to vent elsewhere, so my passion can be free. Maybe I need to wait until I move to a new location to plant this vision, but maybe it's around the corner, and I just cannot see it.

I will beat this, I will be healthy, I will succeed. But I will also fall short at times, and that's ok. Its Ok to be not OK. Just need to step up again.

Thanks for reading the Wall.

TLDR? 31? Able to restart after life exploded? Bettering Self and Trying to stay positive, how do I do all that junk? Thanks!