Blindsided by my girlfriend
Blindsided by my girlfriend suddenly ending things
Context:
I am 26M, she is 23F. We have been together for 10 months, we both still live with our parents, she lives in a little cottage on her parents' property with her best friend, 25F/NB. We have seen eachother at least three or four times a week our whole relationship. We've had all the big talks, marriage, kids, career, future living arrangements, etc.
Things were wonderful. We played dnd together, i got along with her family (they all LOVE me), got along with most of her friends, we were going on a week long trip to an island next month, i was in the process of planning our anniversary. Things were going so well i was considering the idea of proposal after our anniversary. She asked me to come up with an idea of a jacket patch that represents us. We were reading books together, she texted me every day and asked how my day was every day. She told me i was perfect, i told her not to say that since it isnt true but she continued. She wanted me to come over often and regularily.
She went to Edmonton for a funeral. She planned a trip to the club with her friends. She only gets to see her childhood friends once or twice a hear when she goes back to Edmonton. I was happy for her. This was May 9th.
She tells me somethinf weird happened. Her highschool ex came to the club and got handsy and tried to kiss her too many times. She took him outside and they talked... he confessed his love for her.
She tells me all this thr night it happened and wished i were there with her because of all the feelings she felt.
Then over the next four days shes cold to me still in Edmonton. Not reaponding to my questions, she never even told me she landed or even that she got home. I bought her flowers, whiteclaws and candy to surprise her. She messaged me at 11pm, (an hour after she got home accoesing to travel time) that "youre so sweet, i love you"
Then Tuesday May 12th. She is still being weirdly cold to me but wont tell me whats going on. I finally get to her place at 3pm after my responsibilities. Shes very timid, cagey and anxious.
She tells me she doesnt know if she still wants to be with me or go back to her ex. This ex who has been out of her life for three years, this highschool sweetheart, this guy who "does too much acid".
Im outraged, confused and devastated. What the hell happened? "I dont know" she says. I sit beside her for two hours waiting for her to make up her mind between me and him, for her to give me some inkling of a reason why this is suddenly occuring. She gives me nothing. Glancing ag me every once in a while lamenting about her indecision.
I pry, i find out that all her friends are encouraging her to go badk to her ex. I ask what ive done weong, she says nothing, nothing at all, its just this ex of hers is special...
I take all my stuff out of her house inclusibg the stuff i bought her. If she wants to throw us away then she doesnt deserve all the things i bought her. She says he needs time to think. Maybe a week. I tell her how irrational and impulsive this is. How it isnt fair to me, how i dont deserve this treatmwnt and she agrees with me. I tell her im not going to end things, cuz i dont want to. I tell her she has to do it.
She asks for a hug before i leave. I decline.
Four days of no contact. She asks to talk. I go over. She says she wants ti be alone now. Too many relationships in her adult life. She doesnt know what she was thinking going back to her ex. Says she's felt "this way" for teo months now. I ask why you disnt tell me. She says idk. She says i didnt do anything wrong. She says im perfect again. She says it was "uncouth" of me to take her gifts. I tell her its uncouth of her to suddenyl make a decision to end our relationship when things were going fucking amazing for so long. For not being able to decide to stay with me or go back to her ex. She tells me her friends didnt say they supported breaking up with me. I call her on her bullshit.
She never fought for me.
I say "i thought we had something beautiful, but i guess it wasnt worth it" and leave.
I go to the market and tell my mom. She is buddies with her parents at the market too. Her stepdad wanta to give me veggies and muahrooms. My mom says things are complicated. Her parents are ASTOUNDED. Her mom immediatwly calls her and says "What the fuck is going on with you and your boyfriend".
And now im here sitting in my house reeling from what i thought was a happy strong partnership with a wonderful future ahead of us. I have been suckerpunched and i DONT KNOW WHY IT EVEN HAPPENED. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY SHE CAME TO THIS DECISION. SHE NEVEE TOLD ME WHY SHE NEVER TOLD ME WHY SHE NEVER TOLD ME WHY SHE DIDNT FIGHT FOR ME WHY SHE WANTA TO BE ALONE INATEAD. WHY SHE LIED TO ME. WHY IM NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE.