AITAH for telling a Muslim woman that she need not feel guilty for having sexual desires?
I was talking to a Muslim woman online, and I considered her a friend. She came to me saying that she felt guilty for desiring sexual pleasure. I attempted to comfort her by saying that sexual desire is natural and innate to all humans; that even within Muslim teachings, Allah instilled sexual desire in humans. As such, I said, there’s no need to feel guilty.
She became very irate with me, saying, ”Don’t you dare talk about the Almighty like this again. Delete that. Those desires are NOT from him. They’re from the devil. Don’t talk about Islam if you don’t know shit.”
I did some research, attempting to confirm that I had been misinformed. After an hour of searching, I found no source claiming that sexual desires were inherently wrong, and many that said they were, in fact, instilled in people by Allah. I brought this to her, sharing the sources I had found. She began accusing me of rationalizing sin, saying I should have told her to repent and that no sin is unforgivable except polytheism. (I’m pagan). I assured her that I was not defending any actions she may have taken and found sinful, but she said, ”my patience is starting to run really thin. You said you’d respect my beliefs.” I said, ”you’re telling me you should feel guilty for a thing you have no control over!” She said, “This is your last fucking warning. Your beliefs and opinions you keep to yourself. You need to learn to respect other faiths.”
Mind you, I had made considerable effort to learn about Islam and be respectful of it, even reading the Quran.
I told her, “You have control over your actions. You can’t control your desires, your job is to resist them. How can you tell me to keep my beliefs to myself when all you’ve done is put down my beliefs and state yours as fact? I respect your faith, but not your self-loathing.”
“They’re a fact to myself. I’m going to block you now. It’s not self-loathing, it’s guilt. And there’s other ways to comfort me without denying or disrespecting my religion. May Allah guide you.”
I said, Ok. And she blocked me.
It’s worth mentioning the English was not her first language, so there may have been issues with her understanding of the English word “desire.” But all that said… AITA?