u/Dachinka

Eight years ago I had an on-and-off sexual relationship with a man for several months. Over time it became much more emotionally intimate. We kissed and cuddled a lot, talked after sex, he brought me gifts from trips, remembered small things I had mentioned, planned future meetups, and when I came back from vacation without texting him he said, "You're back and you didn't let me know?!"

At one point I told him I wanted more than just sex. He didn't reject me. He said something like, "If that's what you want, we can do that. When do you want to go somewhere together?" But he also remained vague and never explicitly said he wanted a relationship.

Eventually I pulled away because the ambiguity became too painful. Looking back eight years later, I keep wondering whether I left too early or whether this was always destined to stay a situationship.

My question is: based on your own experiences, does this sound like someone who was emotionally invested but avoidant, or like someone who simply enjoyed the connection without intending it to become a relationship?