u/Daffodils_at_Spring

Assalam-walaikum everyone! I'm a British Muslim of Pakistani ethnicity, I was born and brought up in England. I recently married a 40 year old man, born and raised in Mirpur, Azad Kashmir. He says that men from that area and Pakistan in general do not know what romance is and it is not the norm to take your wife out on dates, buy her flowers and small gifts to show that he is thinking of her, even hand-holding or hugging during the day, in private is not the done thing?

I feel like he's just making excuses to not show affection and emotional intelligence but is it true that Pakistani and Kashmiri men do not know of these things and are not expected to do them?

Thank you for your help! Also, please no DMs, I'm merely asking for people's views on this topic.

EDIT: I just want to add that as a Muslim, I don't expect PDA, I just meant hand holding and hugging during the day but in private, I.e. in your own home.

I get why women post in here about marriage issues, even if some find it annoying. I posted in one of the other subs r/muslimgirlsgetmarried, there was low engagement and of the two comments I did receive, they were both judgemental and not helpful at all.

It just makes me appreciate the kindness and support that sisters give on here. You never know truly what someone is going through and what the state of their mental health is, so be patient and caring, it can mean a lot, even to a stranger on the internet.

I pray that all the gentle, lovely souls in here have a happy, long-life, insha'Allah.