u/Dangerous-Cat-9704

41yr m

This was the 2nd relationship of my life. Only lasted a few months My previous was 6.

My previous was abusive emotionally and manipulative. I believe she had bpd and I TRIED to get her help but she was unwilling. I cared for her and stayed longer than I should have.

My second recent relationship was better but here is where a massive problem I have is manifesting.

I don't know how to have sex. My previous partner was rarely intimate with me and every time she was always in control she would not let me do anything myself. I never figured anything out

With this recent partner I could not figure out the basics beyond foreplay and she just was very frustrated, understandably. It didn't work out. She has moved on and found someone new but now I am left here feeling like I'm not even a man.

I'm deathly afraid of women. They've never been attracted to me already and now if I ever did get to that point I'd just be a frustration for them and I'd be right back here. I'm now in my 40s and don't know how to do intercourse

Should I just give up with everything? I am not going to see a sex worker I'm sorry.

I just feel so insignificant.

Some background: this was my therapist for years and I had some difficulties with her already, namely one instance where she texted me, complaining about me, claiming she meant to write that "into a notepad (app)". She was likely texting someone about me. I let it go because I couldn't find any new places accepting patients with my insurance at the time and no longer have the text so it's water under the bridge.

However, years later she became my mother's therapist. And I can no longer ignore that my mother is declining. She is becoming more and more paranoid and hostile. Today, yelling at me because she thought I did not take my shoes off when I came in, she told me that "she's right, this is all my fault because I don't do anything about it", she being that therapist.

What can I do here? I want my mother to get the help she needs and this is not it. And I do not believe this therapist is treating her ethically.