u/Dangerous-Victory223

I'm gonna try to keep this not too long I'm a m24 yo and I'm also physically disabled so I didn't really have any friends growing up I always tried to talk to people but nothing lasted long term fast forward to November 2019 and someone offered to interview me for a YouTube video I of course accepted and after the video was posted I got thousands of messages from people but they were mostly all the same a quick "hope you're doing well" and nothing else after no friendship started all except for one a girl who was my age and she said that she wanted to be my friend and we just clicked and became best friends talking every day sending each other memes doing almost everything together it felt like finally I found someone who actually saw me as a person and not a pity case due to my wheelchair and it felt nice however somewhere along the way I fell in love with her and I told her she said she didn't feel the same way and I didn't take no for an answer I didn't get angry or anything like that but I didn't stop trying over the 6 years we were friends I didn't stop flirting with her or getting jealous when she was talking to someone it wasn't constant and she did say that I wasn't wrong for feeling like this but still eventually I did dial back in the flirting and everything else but it was probably too late because in October of 25 she sent me a text saying that she didn't want to be friends anymore and blocked me I was angry at first thinking *how could she just throw out six years of friendship like that?* but after some time reflecting on the whole thing I now understand her reasoning more at least what I think is her reasoning behind it and now I can't feel anything but regret and the same loneliness I had before we met I was stupid she was the best thing to ever happen to me and I just had to get feelings yknow for the longest time I thought what I needed to be happy was a girlfriend now I realize that I don't need a girlfriend I don't need/want a partner I just want my best friend back

TLDR (lost my best friend due to feelings that never went away)