u/Danim_98

My girlfriend (27F) and I (27M) have been together for 4 years. After our first year, we moved abroad to start a new life together.

Since moving, our sex life has slowly faded. This has been difficult for me, and I’ve brought it up multiple times. I’ve asked if something is wrong or if she’s no longer attracted to me, but she always reassures me that she loves me and wants me.

For me, sex is an important part of a relationship. In my past relationships, there was always mutual desire and initiative, which often feels missing here. She never initiates — it’s always me.

Over the past few years abroad, she’s gone through a lot. She was bullied at work and eventually lost her job. She also struggled a lot being away from her home and family. I’ve always supported her and put our relationship issues aside to help her through it.

We’ve overcome many challenges together. We went from living in a very small place to now living in a beautiful modern home we always dreamed of (we’ve been here for about 4 months).

Despite all this, I’ve started to feel like my romantic feelings are fading. At the same time, I feel stuck. If we break up, life would become complicated for both of us, especially financially for her. I would feel very guilty if she had to move back home because of me, where there are fewer opportunities.

I’m also afraid of being completely alone in a foreign country. Honestly, the idea of loneliness scares me more than financial difficulties.

She finally seems to be doing better after a very hard period, and I’m struggling with the idea of hurting her now.

I’m not asking who is right or wrong, but I would really appreciate advice.

How do you handle a situation where you care about your partner, but feel like your feelings are fading? And how do you deal with the fear of being alone in a foreign country if you decide to end the relationship?

TL;DR: I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 years, but our sex life has faded and I feel like my feelings are disappearing. I still care about her and feel stuck because of our situation abroad, and I’m afraid of being alone if I leave.