u/DaringTrico

I have been trying to think of when to put my end date in at my job. I currently work a full-time job elsewhere because I no longer make enough at DG to keep up with life, and so have been working 2 jobs for a few months.

I don’t mind the customers, they have rarely ever been a problem. Most of them are quite nice. It’s a few of the coworkers I work with. Long story short, I just have bad history here and I was crazy for coming back a second time. First time I left, I felt unsafe an too uncomfortable to stay.

Every time I think about leaving, a customer or customers say something incredibly nice or admit they prefer me over a certain employee (she’s had A LOT of complaints against her by both customers and coworkers.) and I end up changing my mind! I’m more lost at this job than I ever have been and I feel like my time here is long time done. I know it’s time to move on, but every time a customer smiles and says something nice, I find myself rooted cuz I‘ve never been told I would be missed or seen someone look so sad I’m leaving.

I just wanted to vent this out.

I'm not sure how to really start this. For context: I (27) have identified as genderfluid for two years now and have only come out to my friends. Growing up, I've had to keep a lot of things hidden from my family and when I was finally able to do some of those things (like cut my hair to shoulder length or buzz one side) my family would blame my friends for influencing me when it was my decision way before they thought to do similar things. I tried to fit myself into a mold that didn't fit and only started exploring when I was 21.

Lately, I've been wanting to come out to my mom, but I've never really known how to approach it with her. She's the only one I really trust and am really close to. I've asked how she felt about the LGBTQ community, but her answer was a bit vague. I just feel like I'm lying sometimes when she calls me her daughter when I feel completely male. Another worry I have is if I tell her, she might tell my brother and my dad. I don't know how they feel about it, but I don't think my brother is a supporter in the gender spectrum and I'm unsure what my dad would do. It just feels unsafe to tell them both. Am I overthinking this? How did anyone else deal with this sort of struggle? What should I do?