u/DayNo1100

This month i have reached a breaking point. The things my boyfriend does (and doesn't do) have accumulated to a point where i can no longer bare it.

I have reached a point where i want to break up.

My logical side knows he won't change and that i shouldn't expect him to. He is content with who he is and that is fine. But that means he isn't for me. And that it is best to let him go- not only for myself, but for him, because he deserves to be with someone who can wholly love him for who he is.

But my emotional side is scared and afraid. If we break up, i have to move back to my parents because i cannot fully financially support myself. My emotional side is afraid to leave him because we cuddle every night and that is exactly what i need; a body, to be held and to be loved, to not be alone and to be shown that someone cares, that someone can hold me close, that i am not a disgusting freak that everyone throws up from. He actually wants to be close to me, to touch me. He doesn't think i'm too ugly to be held close.

I do not have friends. My relationship with my family is strained, it's not abusive and we love each other as a family but we are not on the best terms. I do not keep contact with my cousin/s. My boyfriend is all i have and i don't wanna leave it.

He also has like 5 videos or pictures of me during sex that he didn't ask me if it's ok to take. One or two i agreed to after we talked. Some of them might even have my face. Idk how to go about handling that. He is a good man and not an ass, but he has a vindictive streak and tendency to think unreasonably after he thinks he has been "victimized". and i'm afraid he might spread them after i break up with him because he feels like i wronged him with the breakup. He took them very early in the relationship and hasn't taken any since. I even forgot about them right after we talked about it back then, it didn't cross my mimd at all up until now. I was ok with them back then because it looked like we will be staying together for a loong time if not forever. Dumb of me, yes. But what do i even do now.

Edit: We split rent. I worded it poorly. I meant his mom covers all HIS part/spendings.

My boyfriend (26) comes from a rich family, by his own admission never worked a day in his life, and has his life fully funded by his mother/parents. He is in university right now, gets thousands of dollars/month to spend, and has all his expenses covered (rent, utilities, etc...). All he does all day is go to university and do his chosen sport 2x a day (gym or sport practice). He LOVES his chosen sport and wants to start competing in it.

I (21) come from a moderate family (we always had our needs met but i have never lived in a fully finished house). I work a student job as a cashier 4-6 days/week (8-12 hours a day, i end work at 9.30 at night) and soon will start university (electrical engineering) and my parents pay for my bus fare and phone bill. Work pretty much takes up all my life right now. Even at home i'm doong side hustles, selling my clothes and unused stuff, etc.

Me and my boyfriend live together.

He never takes my job seriously because i'm just a cashier. Mind you, in his past he quit his cashier job after one day because he way so fed up with it. 1 day. I've been doing this for 1+ year. Go figure...

Additionally (he knows that) i have poor muscle strength/serious physical weakness issues. Which makes everythig even more unbearable. I'm in constant unimaginable pain. I have to stand in one place and bend all day for hours. My feet feel like they are peeling off by the end of each shift.

One day i went home after a particularly tiring shift. I was tired and hungry and upset and annoyed. He kept being dumb and inconsiderate so admittedly i snapped at him quite hard, telling him to shut up because he has it easy, of course he is all energetic because he is doing just his sport and university and isn't stressed about whether or not he can pay for his stuff next month, and that he isn't working so maybe he could be a bit more considerate of my struggles.

He called me an asshole and told me he does work- that him doing his sport is the exact same as me doing my cashier job because his mom funds his life because he does that sport.

So i snapped again, told him it's not the same at all and just stormed out.

I wanted to say more but i was so upset already. How could he even think it's the same? I am at this place for over 8 hours, my managers are assholes and have insane expectations from a student worker mind you, i am in pain 24/7 and nothing helps, customers are old and annoying and resentful, i am not allowed to breathe for a single moment, i HAVE to do this job no matter what or else i won't have money.

His little sport? Yes, he does it every day. Yes, he is doing a hard routine. But does he enjoy it?? YES!! Is he FORCED to do it every single day or else he won't have money??? NO!!!! Does he have a safety net to rely on?? YES!!! Is he in constant pain that is worsened by his sport?? NO!!!!

Looking back i could have handled it better. Not been so snappy. Been more calm and level headed. But this isn't the first time he has disrespected me and dismissed my hardships.

Was i the asshole? I think substance-wise i was right, but i feel really bad for the way i reacted. It was so immature to snap onstead of be calm and proper.