u/DayOk9252

I live in a no-fault state but an attorney mentioned that you can at least file for adultery, and then amend it to irreconcilable differences, but you can’t do the other way around. I want women to look up his record and see the truth. Are there any other benefits to filing due to adultery? It’s not an option on the standard form so rather than filing myself, I will have to hire an attorney to file.

DDAY 1 was 18 months ago. During that time, he has minimized, gaslit, psychologically and emotionally abused me, acted out in anger, etc.

I asked him to move out almost immediately after DDAY 1. I knew in my gut I wasn’t getting the full truth.

Last Thursday, I decided to try the best relationship counselor in town, as one last “hurrah, I tried everything” prior to filing for divorce. At that time, he disclosed that he has not only been going to massage parlors for happy endings, he was soliciting prostitutes. (Am I supposed to be nice and say escorts here? Genuinely confused on the difference.) Suddenly, the realization of the magnitude of the emotional abuse and manipulation that I’d endured over the last year and a half, became heavier than the weight of the sexual acts themselves.

Since then, his entire demeanor has changed. He has succumbed to what he has done, is seeking help on his own, etc.

I know I can never be with this man. But weird thoughts cross my mind, like “maybe he will get the help, and we’ll grow old together as planned, after my parents die so they don’t have to see it.”

PLEASE KNOCK ME BACK ON MY ROCKER.

It’s funny when you have a prejudice against a sign and then you meet several of them and realize you actually love them. This used to be Capricorn and Scorpio for me. I’m still waiting for my mind to change on Pisces. Do others feel this same way?

Played by a narcissist for 10+ years and have a child with him. Raised his daughter because her mother died in a car accident in 2013. (Hindsight: watching him grieve her was extremely uncomfortable and inauthentic) He cheated on her dozens of times and after her death, still refused accountability. (Claims she was cheating on him too, but all of her friends have confirmed this is a lie)

Charming, charismatic, sex addicted, narcissist.

I just let his next relationship play out?

18 months later, I am now seeing that my abuser is text book. He is a sex addict, was sorry, threw a pity party, “did everything he could” to get the family back, minimized, blame shifted, carried a sense of grandiose, cried everyday… I made the decision 3 days ago to block him via text message and only communicate regarding our daughter via email, for my mental well-being. I was too reactive and too eager in trying to convince him on who he has shown himself to be.

He has sent several emails, varying from concern for his image, to sad sorry remorse.. to which I sometimes reply with a thumbs up, or “I’m sorry; your words now fall flat on deaf ears.”

What is next?! We have a 2nd meeting w a mediator this month and are taking the steps towards divorce. Is this where he dwindles away and moves on with his life? I am curious as to what history for others who have gone through this has shown? What do his actions look like moving forward? Suddenly being able to view this from a predictable point of view, knowing that my situation isn’t “special,” has radically allowed me to detach. Quite honestly, I am very curious about the textbook psychology and behavior behind these predators.

I imagine a drawing and while our time lines may not be linear, I believe the information would all be similar, with a notation somewhere along the line: YOU ARE HERE.