u/DayScary1041

Is anyone else always attracting the avoidant people ??? I’m literally going insane. I can’t fucking stand avoidant people and I’m sorry if you are one but for some reason I keep ending up in relationships with them. It makes everything so much fucking worse. They can’t fucking communicate and just run away and come back once they miss you. I literally want to Kms because I keep falling for the shit. The fucking guy I’m talking to right now is one and I successfully stopped texting him for a few days and felt like I could move on . He’d been ignoring me for days and doesn’t want a relationship. I thought we’d go our separate ways and he fucking comes back to text me. I fucking can’t with this shit. Any time when I split and need reassurance they just fucking disappear and say how I’m always complaining. They just fucking lie. Im literally walking into abandonment with these people. Dealing with avoidants and having bpd just makes my life a living hell and I don’t understand why they keep coming into my life.

I fucking hate my life. I will literally do anything to not be abandoned or even feel abandoned. I try so fucking hard for people and they give me nothing in return. I’m so sick of this shit. I’m constantly in hell with this kind of mine. I hate living in this body. I feel so fucking stuck here. All my romantic relationships are disasters. I was just born to be unlovable. This fucking disorder is unlovable. I can’t just leave the guy I’m talking to right now . He obviously doesn’t want me and treats me like shit. I keep fucking texting him how I feel. Begging him to make things work. I fucking hate myself. I’m so pathetic and a loser. I don’t know when to fucking stop. I so exhausted. I take my fucking meds everyday and try to cope and nothing fucking works. What the fuck as I doing wrong!!? I DONT GET IT!! I FUCKING LOVE LOVE AND LOVE , WHY CANT I RECEIVE THE SAME!!? I’m fucking CURSED!! It’s a never ending cycle. I can’t do this shit forever.