u/Dazzling_Media7704

I’ve been making cookies for my husbands birthday month (we really like to celebrate in our family) and so I’ve been making him a batch of cookies a week to take to work.
His favorite cookies are double chocolate chunk which I’ve never liked so I had to look up a recipe to make sure I got it right. The single batches were perfect. The exact chewiness and softness he liked. Perfect ratio of chocolate, he was ecstatic.
So I decided to make cookies in preparation for having people over. I tripled the same recipe, same ingredients, same everything. Cakiest, saltiest, worst cookie I’ve ever had. I didn’t think I over mixed but thought okay maybe 3x is too much.
Same recipe, same ingredients, same prep, just doubled this time. Completely flat. Spread across the cookie sheet like a puddle. Alright I guess the butter and sugar didn’t mix right.
Bought more of the same ingredients. Same recipe, just one batch this time. Perfect…. Did it again - one batch. Perfect… so I had to mix the same recipe 3 times to get a triple batch because for some stupid reason I can’t figure out I can’t double or triple up a batch of cookies.
Heaven forbid my daughter asks me to join a bake sale someday and I need to make chocolate chip cookies. I’ll be mixing for a week.

TL:DR Tried to double and triple a new cookie recipe. Every batch came out terrible unless I baked it as a single batch.

TLDR: My husband and I eloped after finding out we were pregnant. My father wasn’t supportive of my pregnancies at all because we weren’t married. Then had gone no contact with me because we didn’t ask permission to get married. My family thinks I should’ve asked anyways and I’m the AH

For context my Dad is my step-dad but he’s been involved most my life so I’ve always called Dad. He and I have never had a great relationship but he’s still my father.
For the past 2 years he and my Mom have had a rocky relationship and for about 6 months my Mom came to live with my husband and I (we weren’t married yet) They live out of state.

During this break my Dad started seeing someone else. I got pregnant and when I called to tell him he was drunk and told me he didn’t want to be a grandpa and I needed to get married for him to be happy. Come to find out the day before his girlfriend had called to tell him she was pregnant as well. I ended up miscarrying and suspiciously so did she about a week later.

Not long after my Dad had a stroke and broke his leg. Since they were technically still married my Mom went back to live with him to take care of all his medical stuff since he was in no shape to do so. They apparently worked it out enough that they decided to stay together. It wasn’t my life so I stayed out of it and told them I loved them both no matter what.

Although he hadn’t officially proposed my husband and I set a date for our wedding. We knew when we wanted it to be and he had a plan for proposing before then. I told my parents and they told me it was good we were getting married since we lived together and were trying to have a family (my Mom is very religious). I took that as support and told them the date we had set for the next year and I would plan by myself.

About 6 months later I got pregnant again. Since I had complications with my first we were so happy because we were told our chances of getting pregnant again were low. We decided to elope and postpone the reception another year since I would be almost due and we wanted to save money. When I told my parents my Mom was happy and my Dad asked if I knew how condoms worked and left the room. They later both asked me if we still planned on getting married and I told them about the elopement plan. They both thought it was a good idea.

They then call me 2 months before our elopement date and my Mom tells me how angry my Dad is with me that my husband hasn’t asked him permission yet. That it’s bad enough he knocked me up before marriage he should’ve at least called to ask to marry me. In my 30 years of life, most of with him as my father, I have never once heard him talk about being asked for permission to marry me. And the point of eloping is so you don’t have to do all the extra steps, we were just being considerate by telling them our plan. Also I told them if anything I don’t want my husband to ask because women are no longer property and I make the decision of who to marry no one else.

We’ve since been married and had our daughter. He has not come visit claiming it’s because of his health yet when I call or video chat my Mom he will leave the room and refuses to talk to me or look at her. I’ve offered to come visit (for my mother’s sake) and she either cancels last minute or wants to meet in another city. Yet at the same time she and my Dad’s parents guilt trip me about how I’ve hurt his feelings but leaving him out of my life and not letting him be involved in important moments, like agreeing to let my husband marry me. I’ve told them it was never my intention to hurt his feelings and if things were handled a little better I may have been more open to it but my feelings matter too.

Some family members have told me I should’ve just asked since he is my father and it’s a respect thing, an age thing, religion, you name it. I stand by my decision even if I’m the AH I’d just like to know what people outside of this situation think.