MAIN PREMISE

After thinking about the concept death for so long in both the Abrahamic (there is a hereafter (Heaven, Jannah, Sheol, etc) and the scientific kind (Black. Nothing), reading and having to coincide with the atheistic outlook you must have as a “true” non-revisionist communist in accordance with Dialectical Materialism, and how I don’t see any actual proof God exists, it’s been super hard for me to reconcile the fact that I am a practising Catholic that has no scientific significance of God. It stresses me out every day, between believing that I’m not a true Communist and not being a good Catholic because I don’t have complete faith in my Catholicism.

For context

I was a passive Catholic up for most of my Childhood and Teenage years up until 2022 when I became angry towards God and the faith for things I won’t discuss here for a few years up until I started reading for my church in October, 2025. I was still a bit hesitant up until that point because it was just a family thing I decided to accept and it was a huge blessing. I got to help out the community and do the bible justice. And at the start of February of this year, after years of denying God as an atheist/agnostic, it came to me that I really was Catholic. Not out of force from society or my family, but it was such a natural progression I fought so hard against because of my own experiences… that when I decided to surrender, it all made sense. It just made sense and felt natural. Again, no force, it was acceptance. It was an experience I don’t know if I’ll feel again.

I gave the thought of religion and the afterlife a lot of thought. In my opinion, my only two beliefs that made me still a Catholic while being Communist is that:
1 - If there was absolutely signs and evidence from God that our Lord and our father in Heaven is real, people would still be incredibly sceptical. In our world where people are saying “AI! AI! AI!” over piece of media and how right-wingers, liberals and nazis love to call everything blood libel and a Jewish conspiracy to take over the world, it genuinely wouldn’t surprise me if they reject God. So I decided to put my faith in the Lord.
2 - As a communist (I know. Catholic I am still), I’m aware that being religious would make me revisionist. If so, so be it. Anywho, I have recognised that it may be incredibly unlikely I will see a communist international in my lifetime. But I have faith I will see the day where the world fights and sees independence in Socialism so that communism may see the sun. It’s happened before. For every success (USSR, Cuba, North Korea), there was every failure (Peru, Che’s venture into Bolivia that led to his death, INLA in North of Ireland) and then there are the current (Karela, the CPP-NPA-NDF, etc). I decided that my faith in them can translate to my Catholicism because it’s possible there’s nothing after we die just like how there is a possibility there’s something after.

Anywho, I hope the Lord blesses you all with love, life and happiness. God bless you all!