u/DeathSparxx904

Why does it feel like she has this magic reset button when it comes to trying to progress through issues?

We have a heated argument about a certain aspect. Four or five weeks go by. I bring up the subject in a lighter way to get some clarification only to be met with "well talked about that weeks ago and it will take longer to get over it or answer you".

One or two steps forward and 4 or 5 steps backwards. Doesn't matter how small or large the discussion or action. The entire process seems to be reset.

It has been going on 6 years. Many blow ups. Visits to therapist both alone and together.

-Some form of hormone treatment, but only to keep her from going "completely pyscho".

-No interest in wanting to stop needless spending.

-No interest in wanting to discuss out future as a couple. I have been hit with "you will be driving that conversation as I have nothing to say" MANY MANY TIMES.

-The complete flippantness of anything regarding us as a couple.

-No definite answers.

-Situations and issues are deflected back to me.

-Any decision on the relationship in any capacity is met with "It is up to you to make that choice". ZERO input on what she wants.

-She never really was a cook or a cleaner, but what little she had done has now become absolute zero. (We both do work full time).

-Zero motivation unless it involves her girl trips, shopping, watching yet another K-drama or doom scroll through social media.

-No longer changes in the same room as me.

-Now only showers when I am out of the house.

-Tips and exercises therapy has suggested basically last for 1 time and she has zero interest after that.

-I cannot get any kind of "hint" of what she wants or where she wants to go with this 16 year marriage.

I cannot seem to make any progress on "making things better" for either of us. I pursue and she flees. I don't pursue and it seems like I am ok with nothing getting better. I ask and get denied. I try to talk and get hit with nothing. I ask for her to clarify and it gets deflected or avoided. It really does now look like she is truly happy "alone".

Visited Barnes and Noble on Father's Day to find a new book or series. The only book or series I could find was Dungeon Crawler Carl series on a small end cap. I own them and have read them. I am a huge fan of having that tactile feel while reading and have not got use to or enjoyed ebooks or audio books.

Anyone have luck finding these types in a bookstores? The SciFi / Fantasy section didn't seem to have anything other than the typical stuff.

Is Amazon or other online outlets the best and easiest? I want to support the authors as much as I possibly can.

45 Male. IlThebwife and I have come to an agreement on an Ethical Non-Monogamy situation. I have been told by my current partner that her thinking about performing any form of sex act on anyone is now "repulsive". Yes she is in full blown menopause. Yes we have and both currently going through therapy sessions individually and together. Yes boundaries have been set by her and agreed upon by both of us. I am working on getting over that comment while also learning how this is supposed to work!

I made a post a few weeks to a month ago describing my situation with this and what I thought at the time was progress.

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There were responses confirming what I was doing was "good" and such, praising even. There were also responses basically saying the opposite and "she will show her true colors", something to that affect.

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Well, here I am fully apologizing those of tou that responded that she will show her true colors and the like. I'm here to feast on crow and take my well deserved kick in the nuts for not actually paying attention to her actions or non actions. My clouded judgement cemented in hope had me seeing shit the way I wanted to see it.

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It all blew up in my face just a few days ago. Having her words of "I do not feel safe" even starting to reconnect in any ways. Her saying "I don't know" when I ask if she is willing and genuine when I ask "Are you wanting to work on and satisfy your husband in all the aspects of our relationship we have discussed?".

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Well fuck me! Four years of bullshit. Being strung along in what seems like she is just waiting for me to "step out of the relationship", me to say the words regarding divorce.

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I am sorry to all I may have dismissed. I know better now and "actions speak louder than words" has and will never ring more true than now and I will from now go on things based on actions.

Purchased a 1998 Honda Acty pickup. There is no record of service so I have been replacing basic things (oil and filter change, plugs, wires, valve cover gasket, air filter, ac filter, shifter bushings). I have a few other things im capable and confident doing. The major thing coming up is the alternator belt, timing belt, water pump, tensioner pulley, and idle pulley. I do not have the tools nor the confidence in replacing those things. I understand how "catastropihc" screwing up the timing belt can be.

Any mechanics in or around Bolles that would be willing to work on replacing these important pieces? Most garages including the one I take my vehicles to now have only heard of a kei truck and didn't seem to interested in the work.