A Newcomers Thoughts on No More Heroes
Hey y’all, I just finished No More Heroes 3, and I thought it might be kind of fun to hear a newcomer’s take on the franchise before I begin. I should probably highlight some things I enjoy in my games.
A super important thing for me is good music. I listen to a lot of video game music, and I’m always excited for something new and interesting, especially because I refuse to add something to my playlist unless I’ve played the game it’s from (in most cases).
A good story with likable, interesting characters. I particularly enjoy it if they have a good dynamic together.
I know this is stupid, but hype moments and aura farming are always necessary.
I’m gonna get a lot of hate for this, but I like a game to be easy and make you feel cool, or at the very least have robust difficulty options for people who don’t want to spend eight hours on a boss.
For further context, my favorite game series are Persona, Yakuza, Metal Gear Solid, Devil May Cry, and Doom, as well as some favorite individual games (meaning not a series, or I haven’t played the others): Red Dead Redemption 2 and Cyberpunk 2077.
With that being said, let’s begin the review. I’ll be breaking these games down from least liked to most liked.
No More Heroes 3
I don’t know how hot of a take this is, but I really don’t like this game. I literally rolled credits on it less than ten minutes ago, and I’m actually upset it was this bad.
Let’s start with the first reason, and something that really made me mad: this game’s soundtrack is terrible. Like, actually terrible. The only song that managed to make it into my playlist is the octopus theme. This isn’t even a matter of me not liking electronic music—that’s not true. Some of my favorite songs in games, like “Die Anyway” from Kurohyou, “K.O.G.” from Lost Judgment, “Giftiger Füllhalter” from Infinite Wealth, and “Wushu Dolls” from Cyberpunk, are all electronic.
My issue is more that every single one of these themes is so basic and boring, and they all sound the same. None of the boss themes made me excited to fight the boss, which this game really needed because its boss fights were terrible (don’t worry, we’ll get into that later). The music is so generic that I could see it in advertisements for Target.
The songs don’t fit the bosses they’re for at all in the way they do in the other games. One thing I really respect about the first game is that it has a lot of genre diversity, even if all the boss themes don’t end up being that great. Something like “Samurai Summer” sounds very different from “Steel Python,” yet they’re both really good songs. Even the second game, which is mostly rock, at least has some variation with songs like “Shoegazer Watched the Stars” or “Money Shot” (which, spoilers, NMH2’s OST became my second favorite soundtrack of all time behind Kurohyou).
I find it hard to put into words, as someone who knows nothing about music theory, why this game’s soundtrack pisses me off as much as it does, but holy crap, it’s terrible.
Next up: Fu.
I don’t hate him, BUT he has such a great introduction and then fizzles out by the end. No, that doesn’t even describe it well enough. He goes out like a wet fart.
His introduction is great, where Damon meets him in the woods and develops a little friendship with him. It’s actually kind of cute, and then he shows back up later as… who he is. I think this reveal additionally worked so well for me because I had seen pictures of Fu before, but I always assumed he was going to be some generic conqueror-type character. Then he shows up on the roof of that building and completely breaks my expectations. He’s a frat boy. That’s hilarious.
For the first quarter of the game, I was super excited to see where his character went, but as the game dragged on, it felt like they kind of ran out of ideas for him. They never elaborate on his relationship with Damon. He never really gets any moments to strongly shape your opinion on him after he kills Badman. Sure, he gets plenty of scenes, but most of them are him having generic, unimpactful conversations with aliens that are going to die soon anyway.
His voice actor did such a great job, but the writers completely crapped the bed.
Next, I’ll get into the assassins.
Nothing this game could’ve done would’ve been a win on this front. When you first see all of the assassins in the opening cutscene, at least for me, I was already groaning. They look like knockoff Lego figures on some Mega Bloks timing. They’re all so blocky and generic-looking that it’s actually absurd.
Then the game starts, and the majority of them end up getting killed before you even fight them anyway.
I really think they should’ve just not done the whole alien idea. Yes, I understand Suda was trying to riff on big CG blockbuster movies, but if that was his idea, he should’ve gotten character designers more familiar with sci-fi because the team he had ended up making what look like a bunch of people in Power Rangers villain armor.
In addition, the number of boss fights in this game is embarrassing compared to No More Heroes 2. I was under the impression there would be twenty boss fights in this game, not basically the same amount as the first game.
Plus, the bosses end up having no character. The only ones that have anywhere near the same amount of quality as the other games are Midori and maybe Sonic Juice. Also, all the gameplay for the bosses is super boring. They either have some stupid gimmick or just insta-kill you.
And while I think using some human characters in there was the right move, they should have been in addition to the aliens, not replacements.
I was truly disappointed with every single boss in this game because the quality in the others is so high. The only exception might be White Sheepman in TSA, who I thought was kind of lame.
Also, this is an issue not a lot of people probably had, but the easy mode in this game is the worst easy mode I’ve ever seen in a game. The solution for an easy mode was not to tone down damage; it was to make it so some damage just doesn’t happen. Don’t get me wrong, I hate challenge in my games, but when you literally cannot take damage ever, it makes the game feel terrible.
Also, as someone who loves bright colors and flashy visuals, even I have to admit this is maybe the ugliest game I’ve ever played. The first game in the series, released a year before I was born, looks twenty times better than this. The characters look like clay models, ESPECIALLY Kimmy, and this makes the already lame alien designs look even worse.
The story also has a bunch of things that just do not make sense.
Why doesn’t Henry have an accent anymore, and why is he a cult leader? I don’t know—we’re not gonna explain that.
How did Naomi become a tree? I don’t know—we’re not gonna explain that either.
Some of the narrative decisions beyond the lack of explanation are terrible too. Why did they make Bad Girl into Harley Quinn? Why didn’t they emphasize the relationship between Travis, Shinobu, Bad Girl, and Badman?
I could see a world where this was a Devil May Cry 5-style game with four playable characters where each character got five bosses, expanding on what they did with Shinobu and Henry in 2. Heck, they even could’ve charged for DLC where you play as Native Dancer for a couple bosses.
Instead, we got this pile of crap.
I’ve harped on this game long enough, so I’ll wrap it up. The gameplay is whatever, with the exception of the difficulty issues, and yes, the open world is abhorrent.
I hope if they ever make a fourth game—which I really hope they do—they ignore a lot of the decisions they made here. I think the ending of 3 has some promise, and if they end up doing the multiple-playable-character thing, I think it’ll be really cool. But 4 needs to be more like 2 and forget a lot of what they did here.
I hate to use this buzzword term, but this is slop.
Travis Strikes Again
We’re gonna be more positive from here on out, though I’m still not 100% on board. If 3 was a 2/10, this game is a solid 5/10.
Let me first say the music in this game is a lot better. I don’t know that it hits as hard as the first two games, but it’s still interesting, even if they really only stick to this ambient electronic hip-hop vibe.
I really enjoy songs like the generic Sheepman theme, Electro Triple Star’s theme, and—after a couple listens because originally I found the rap super annoying—the Eight Hearts theme. I especially loved Brian Buster Jr.’s theme, even though his level is by far the worst in the game. I still have nightmares about donut platforming.
My issue with this game stems from the fact that it seems like a spinoff, but is necessary to play. I think what they should’ve done was scrap the whole “video game inside a video game” idea and just make No More Heroes 2.5 that takes place in Texas (though I am biased as a native Texan).
I think the gameplay is pretty meh. Not terrible or anything, but just not that fun.
I do think this is probably the funniest game in the series. A lot of the jokes hit really hard with the visual novel presentation. I was specifically cracking up at the Deadpool reference.
The story is really confusing, but just comprehensible enough that I know what happened. I don’t really have a particularly strong opinion on the game overall. It only took me a little over a day to beat, and I played through the Eight Hearts level with my little brother, which was fun, but I just don’t really care about the game much. I feel like I probably won’t think about it very often.
I will say, as a Hotline Miami fan, it was kind of cool to see Jacket.
I also think the tone this game takes—which continues and gets even worse in 3—as opposed to the tone of the first two games is, I don’t want to say objectively worse, but definitely not to my tastes.
I also think locking story content behind DLC is incredibly stupid. I already think requiring a spinoff for story comprehension of the next game is dumb, but locking even more of that story behind a two-hour DLC that costs ten bucks is ridiculous.
I did really enjoy Mr. Doppelgänger, though. I have a soft spot for that sort of character archetype (Punisher, Kuwana, The Spectre, etc.).
Overall, it’s a pretty alright game, but nothing to write home about.
No More Heroes
Now we get into the good stuff.
I would call this game a solid 7/10.
I’ll get the bad things out of the way first: the Jeane fight is so incredibly BS that I wanted to dive headfirst out a window. She dodges literally everything.
I also don’t know if this is something that’s been reported on, but this game’s English translation feels… iffy. I don’t know if it’s just that the game has a surreal tone, but a lot of the dialogue feels incredibly inorganic.
While this game’s music is very good, it has a very wide genre pool, and that means some songs hit and some don’t. For me, “Stop Hanging DJs” is so bad that it loops back around into being funny and kind of good. Meanwhile, I literally cannot remember anything about the magician guy’s theme.
I also think the use of the main theme in all the levels is kind of annoying, although I do feel it was necessary for the series because it builds a special connection between that song and the player.
I also feel the gameplay in this entry isn’t perfected yet like it will be in 2, and can feel kind of weird at times.
However, with all that out of the way, this game is great.
I believe that personality-wise and character-wise, this game still has the best lineup of assassins. Holly’s death was probably the most impactful moment in the series for me, and while I don’t necessarily enjoy all of the music, the themes fit the bosses perfectly.
I also enjoy the minigames. I understand some people find them annoying, but realistically all you need to do between ranked missions is one minigame and an assassin mission or two. I also feel they’re necessary considering how low the game’s budget was. If the minigames weren’t there, the game would be like three hours long.
My favorite assassin in this game is Dr. Peace by a longshot. As a Texan (and a gun guy), I’m very partial to revolvers, so give a character a revolver and I’ll already like them. But the unapologetic cowboy feel of his character really hits me in my happy place.
I also really enjoyed Speed Buster because I thought she was hilarious.
Even Jeane—whose fight I hated—I still thought was cool, and I thought the fast-forwarding bit was hilarious (though after going back and listening to what she said slowed down, I feel bad for laughing. Man, yikes).
Overall, this is an incredibly high-quality game oozing with passion and love. While it’s not my favorite in the series, I can very easily understand why people would say it’s theirs.
As for my favorite…
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
Yes, I understand this game was not directly directed by Suda, but let’s not act like this is a game he had no involvement in.
I’ll get this out of the way first: I don’t hate the final boss of this game. In fact, I think it’s really funny to have some dweeb as your final boss, and his theme songs are really good, so who cares? (I could also just be saying this because I’m an easy mode person.)
The fifteen assassins were great in this game. Upping the amount makes the game feel more like an expanded version of the first game, which is exactly what I want out of this series.
I also feel the combat in this game is basically just the first game’s combat, but improved in every way.
This game is also home to my favorite assassin in the series: Skelter Helter.
I’m sorry, but you can’t show a revolver-head like me a revolver with revolving cylinders that revolve and not expect me to think it’s the coolest thing ever.
However, a lot of the other assassins in this game are stellar as well. Vladimir, Million Gunman, New Destroyman, and Nathan are all incredibly distinctive and cool characters with theme songs I love.
While I feel this game’s assassins (with the exception of Skelter Helter) don’t reach the absolute highs of the first game, they are still incredibly high-quality characters with very fun boss fights and great music.
I also feel difficulty-wise this game was perfect for me, because I was still taking damage, but I still felt powerful.
My main issues with this game are small things, like how for some reason Matt Helms and Ryuji don’t have their own themes (like, WTF man? Seriously bothers me like a bad pimple on your lip), and the fact Shinobu’s jump just doesn’t work.
Anyway, this game is amazing. It’s so fun, and I can absolutely see myself replaying it sometime soon.
Also, quick side tangent: “Philistine” is not that good, and people love it waaaaaay too much.
Anyway, while I was very disappointed with the last part of the series, the beginning is amazing, and I would absolutely consider myself a fan despite the hiccups it has.
I’m looking forward to the fourth game, and this series has encouraged me to look more into Suda’s lineup of games, which I had never really considered beforehand since I barely knew who he was outside of hearing about his games in passing.
Sorry for writing so much, and thank you for reading.
Anyway feel free to tell me how wrong and stupid I am.