u/December126

I feel extremely depressed and hopeless. I've had so many stupid decisions with money and jobs. I quit a job a while ago just because I was overwhelmed and I stuff going on in my personal life, I just didn't think it through properly and now I constantly regret it, I've never found a job as good as that one and it's all my fault because I left.

I'm currently unemployed and life just feels miserable and hopeless, I find it hard to get out of bed and I feel like a burden on my sister who I live with. I have zero idea what I'm going to do now

My mum is a really horrible person, she just constantly talks, I mean she literally doesn't shut up, she talks *at* you not with you, she treats everyone like her personal therapist, she constantly moans about her life problems and when I was a kid and did something bad eg got a detention in school, she literally wouldn't shut up about it the entire week, like the entire week it's just constantly "YOU GOT A DETENTION IN SCHOOL, I CAN'T BELEIVE YOU'D DO SOMETHING SO STUPID BLAH BLAH BLAH".

I'm autistic and dyslexic. I struggled so much; in school, in college (not a degree just a diploma), I was extremely depressed when I first moved out, with living alone - I've lived alone a few times and ended up having suicidal thoughts, with making friends, in jobs - I often find even simple tasks difficult and I get bored easily and end up quitting after a few months, I struggle with making plans for the future, with managing money, with "adulting" like cooking and cleaning, with learning to drive - I did a bunch of lessons and gave up, I just found it extremely stressful and I've had to move back home a couple times and every time it's been absolute hell.

I just feel like especially with being autistic I needed to have a supportive family, I feel like I really struggle with being an adult, I feel so childish and stupid sometimes, I wish I had some support and it's just horrible not having that.

I just wish so badly that I could've had a happy supportive family growing up and that when I've dealt with difficult things, that I could've went to my parents for support or even moved back home and been happy with them.

Maybe I could've been a lot more successful academically and gotten a better job etc but like, even if I ended up about the same, at least I'd be happier, supported and less mentally unwell, tbh after everything I've been through in my life, if I was given a choice I'd take being extremely poor with a happy family over my current financial situation and a horrible family.