u/Decent-Jump8151

I never saw it coming. I got on TRT plus HCG hoping that it would make a difference about how I feel after I ejaculate. They didn't help. Plus HCG raised my estrogen up to 85 pg/ml so I had to take an aromatase inhibitor to lower estrogen down. I tried TRT for a year btw, ejaculating still kills me for few days, brain fog, exhaustion, irritability and lack of drive to do anything.

So, once I took 0.25 mg for arimidex eod, my sleep got better and to my fucking surprise, I had both sex and masturbated and I still feel fine... It was weird. Usually I feel my skull is heavy and the need to rest, like you know that feeling of heavy eyelids and internal fatigue. It's not there. That horrendous feeling stopped. Yes, my brain still gets a hit from ejaculation mentally but not as bad as it used to be, not at all. My grip strength didn't weaken too, it's a huge difference. I aactually hate arimidex cause it makes me shed more hair but now I don't know. I don't know if I can advise someone who is not on TRT to take arimidex either, but just sharing what cured me for a while now. Been two weeks no matter how much I have sex I am quite OK.

If I have one complaint, is that my scalp hurts a little and there is medium level of shedding. Not quite happy about that as a tradeoff.

I had a good two weeks. Like literally two weeks landed me two job interviews that came so quickly to my surprise. I am unemployed, married and must get a job. But I was cool, I had this abundant mentality thanks to SR.

I failed my first interview though cause the job was actually out of my league. Didn't know many things. Then I relapsed by binging the whole day then releasing twice and my phone interview is supposed to be tomorrow... I don't know what to do. The anxiety creeped up again. My cool is lost. My confidence is shot big time and it's 8 am and I haven't slept yet. I never asked for help due to a relapse before cause I know such posts pisses off the community and doesn't help. But this time I am really looking for any sort of wisdom and advice.

Period.

My e2 as a natty was around 32 and my total was 320, felt like shit naturally. On 160 mg a week it shoot up to 60. I never felt the TRT benefits everyone speaks about. Was hoping my sleep gets any better but it did not. Not at all. Still got general anxiety, wired brain before sleep, no calmness, mentally i felt no difference than when I was a natural. So after a whole year of trying different dosages and changing pining frequency from weekly to daily still no real difference. Pinning daily did make me feel a little better but that's it.

I then started adding HCG cause wife wants kids in the future, started 1500 ui a week. In two weeks, my sleep went to shit, my anxiety became worse, did bloodwork and found my E to go up to 85 pg/ml. That's when I decided to pop half adex (0.5 mg) and in a matter of two days I am sleeping really deeply. Feel much fucking better than I ever did. So now I take 0.25 mg every two days, sometimes EOD depends on how I feel. I plan to find the least possible dosage that I can feel good on.

My point is, fuck I wish I tried this sooner. I got an 8 hours of sleep that I didn't get in months... all cause everyone told me estrogen is your friend. Yeah, I get it, good for the brain, bones, muscles and cardiovascular health and also my worst fucking enemy.

My dose is 160 mg Test C a week and 1500 UI HCG a week split on M/W/F 500 UI each. I am actually trying to get my balls back cause I am trying to conceive with my wife. Been on HCG for a month and half and it's definitely the reason my E is so high. If fertility is not great after 6 months of HCG, I'll go off the test then hop back on again. Been on TRT for a whole year now.

Recent Symptoms (as in two weeks ago): shit sleep, barely getting 4 hours of rest without interrupted sleep. Tears come out easily which was also a telling sign for me. Generally very nervous probably due to the bad sleep. Took half a pill of anastrozole (.50 mg) and slept well for the first time in a while (did E2 bloodwork before taking the AI).

Hematocrit is currently around 52 as well. I don't know my total/free T right now but last I checked 40 days ago before the HCG, it was around 800 and 120 free T, E2 42. I am a low SHBG guy. Fat percentage around 23%.

So how should I dose the ai and when should I do bloodwork again to confirm the e2 levels that i want (around 40 - 50). Lower T dose? to maybe 120mg/wk?

It was sudden. Beginning of the dream, I am in front of my grandparents home and there he is. We go inside and I know immediately that he passed away so I ask questions. I don't remember the beginning of the conversation but I asked him how was the judgement of Allah. He told me the judging is not easy at all, but difficult. So I took that as a warning sign. He also told me that when we die, the ground turns to grass, if you're bad, the grass turns into metal that you'll feel when the living move you to your grave (or so he meant, not exact words). Also told him I am married, he smiled as if he simply knows all about it.

The dream left a great impact on me. For two reasons, how much I was aware in it and how I 100% knew that my grandfather is dead and is visiting me. My curiosity in the dream and that I was in a way, answered.

Also, I haven't thought of my grandfather at all these past few months at least. So I don't know to interpret this dream, is it really a visitation or just simply my subconscious mind or a good dream from Allah subhanu.

I made a similar post like a few months ago about how horny I am on this. I was on 140 mg a week, any lower and i don't feel any benefits and feel weak and lethargic, so I know that's the dose for me. It's good, feels good but the downside of being horny and down to hump all the time is just fucked up. I am married, but I am flirting with any woman that comes my way who are willing. Sexting with women online whoever would give me their time of the day, I am down. Watching porn daily.

Then I regret later and next day I am back in the same cycle of hell. I was never like that. Ofc I can't blame TRT for my lack of control but I know this is literally me back when I was 17. It's exactly the same, all day thinking about sex, making up fantasies in my head.. rubbing it 5 times a day. Yeah, I am so back to 17 baby. But at what cost? cheating on my wife? eventually losing my marriage? I don't know. I think i'll go off soon. Was a good run.

just asking cause I wanna make sure, my pee started having smelling more since I've been on HCG a week ago. Doesn't smell when I am just on T

My breathing feels a bit heavy at night and my SPO2 drops to 83% saturation when I am falling asleep, sometimes I wake up sweating. Did increasing the dose showed an underlying sleep apnea? I am going to the doctor in a week but till then, trying to find out as much as a I can and obviously will lower the dose.

Used to be on 150 mg a week and it put me at 750 total and 120 free, I feel better around 1000 total and 200 free, that were my levels when I used to run HCG but too much estrogen conversion so i stopped cause I don't wanna use ai. AI ruins my hair and I just wanna keep it so I dropped the HCG. I am not feeling very good on my 750 and immediately feel better when I increased dose, but then came the breathing problem. It's like a sudden weird anxiety and like I am having a 4/10 hunger for oxygen. Not a good sign

Last time I took anastrozole 0.25 mg a week made a wreck of my hair. Accelerated hair loss like crazy. I feel good on some AI, but due to its effect on hair I am terrified of trying it again. So I was thinking maybe aromasin would be different? Or is that wishful thinking.

Been on TRT for a year now and thankfully a good head of hair, losing it slowly but at least it's a slow process. AI would just make me lose it in a month.