u/DeepSpaceCraft

My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me yesterday after I lost my job.

Not for losing the job; for the actions leading up to me losing my job. I was always late and didn't take action even after being warned by the company and by my boyfriend. He says that he "needs to be with an adult", and if things become more serious, he wants someone who will be able to pull their weight and not leave him to handle the financial burden alone. That I wouldn't be able to get my shit together if he's in the picture. There was more, but that was the gist of things.

I'm so upset at myself. I haven't stopped crying. I'm not angry at him for breaking things off - he tried; he really did. I'm upset at myself for not being the person he deserved. He took his key back and we were both crying. He said that I keep sabotaging my happiness. Maybe I am, I don't know. Maybe it's the condition. Maybe I was just born broken, maybe it's the trauma. I don't know why I can't break out of these bad habits. I haven't been able to stop crying. We've been through so much together. I can't believe it's over. I'm such a fuckup.