Just a thought i never voiced out before, I think would have gotten sa by my ex if i was a girl.
Whenever she got drunk she would force herself onto me and not wanting to do anything without proper consent and just being turned off in general, i’d constantly refuse. Now that i’m thinking back on it, if she was the dude would i have been able to defend myself? Just a random thought…
Not dinner but a small snack mid 17km run!
So I (20M) recently heard from a friend how my ex (F18) is doing after 5 months of no contact. After she cheated on me, I basically cut everything about her out of my life and focused solely on self improvement.
Now, i’m in the best shape of my life (reaching ~15% body fat after bulking for a few years), making the most money I have (work ~60 hours/week), going on adventures every weekend (be it solo or with friends), doing academically well (working on multiple personal projects) and even started to sought after christ.
Physically i’m up, but mentally i think it’s the worst i’ve been in a while. However, I thought everything would be okay knowing that she was probably doing worse than I was. That was not the case. She isn’t doing well, but that’s the part where i feel like shit. She got into a new relationship and apparently the new man is influencing her back into bad habits she used to have and even worsened them. From vaping issues to being introduced to smokes & drugs from him.
Don’t get me wrong, i still hate her for cheating but it’s something i’ve come to forgive. It’s mentally fucked up my viewpoints on future relationships but it’s a battle I’m willing to accept and face.
To add on to all that, even though I blocked her on every social I had, turns out she’s still stalking my Instagram and TikToks. As much as it feels nice knowing she still yearns for what we had, i’m done, i’d rather she not be looking at my shit.
I don’t really know where I’m going with this post but yeah, I’m just in a really weird mind space right now knowing she’s not doing all that well and with the path she’s seeking, will be doing much worse. I always pushed her to live the best of life by going on trips together, pushing her to study harder & by coming to the gym with me. But now this is what remains of her… literally no clue how to feel.
TLDR: cheating ex is doing worse and i feel like shit
UW ENGR & CS transfer results should be coming in within the next few days, to all my fellow applicants good luck and if yall don’t mind, please share your stats - would like to to see how this year’s batch looks like 😅.