u/Denryu9

So uhm, I'm a guy and I've been feeling this urged to get absolutely destroyed for years since I was in my teenage years, I never got to spoke much about this in the people I know because they're all conservative but I want to get this off my chest because after spending so much times pretending to be "masucline" or "manly" I haven't been able to feel who I am inside, so K feel contradicted and at the same time, it feels so... right. Please yall, give me advice on this, I'm actually spiralling right now.

SO IN MY LAST POST, I SAID THAT I HAVE CRUSH ON MY CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND NO!! MY MOM SAW IT WHEN SHE WAS USING MY PHONE AND YALL NOTIFICATIONS POPPED UP!! AND I LIVE IN A HOMOPHOBIC COUNTRY (PHILIPPINES)!!! WHAT AM I DOING!!! AND NOW, PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY WILL KNOW THAT I'M GAY AND A FEMBOY, YALL SAW THAT I COMMENTED IN SOME OF YALL COMMENTS BEFORE THIS HAPPENED!! THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE MY LAST LOLL!! GAHHHHH!! I'M SO DONE!! HELP! WHAT AM I DOING!!

SEND YOUR BEST REGARDS, PLEASE!! I'M SO DONE!!!

So uhm... I have a childhood best friend that's basically been with me all my life, from kindergarten, elementary to high echool currently, when he found out that I'm a femboy in 7th grade, he accepted and it didn't creep him out. Now, even when I wasn't one, he's already flirty or sometimes jokes about being gay which is honestly kind of hilarious but when he finds out, he's still doing it and god, due to my new interests... I'm falling so damn hard! :3

He's nice, kind, caring, loving and understanding! He's basically an angel and to be honest, sometimes with his mischievous activities from time to time, it makes me like him even more, to the point of I start asking myself if I want to marry the damn guy. He's also flirty to me like I previously mentioned which is just the cherry on top (sometimes he lightly kisses me on the lips! :D), I literally have some pages on my journal just talking about him and what I want for our future together. But... Ahh... I don't know if he's gay or not kr even anything at all, I haven't really talked to him about it but... I really want your guys' thoughts about this because, I'm so scared of facing rejection right now, I'm so hopeless for him.